Safe and Sound

three - taylor

tw: everything. i'm not specifying bc no spoilers. just assume from now on that every chapter has a tw for something or other

"Fuck!" I breathed, my body arching off the bed as waves of pleasure hit me, my muscles tensing with the intensity of my orgasm. My jaw hung open in a silent squeal as Joe reached an erratic pace, continuing to pump in and out of me, chasing his own release. My room that had been silent and lonely just an hour ago, was now thick with heat and sweat. Our skin stuck to each other as we pressed our body's close. 

"Fuck– fuck!" He groaned, and a second later I felt him come, hot and deep inside me, filling me up. I could already feel the warmth of his release mingling with mine, the wetness starting to seep out, dripping slowly down my thighs.

He collapsed onto me for a moment, breathing heavily against my neck. But before I could even catch my own breath, he pulled out and rolled to the side, immediately reaching for his phone. 

I stayed where I was, staring at the ceiling, trying to steady my heartbeat as the aftershock of my orgasm still fluttered through my body. It had felt good, of course, but there was no connection. I'd been chasing something that wasn't there. There was nothing real between us anymore, as much as I wished there was. I glanced over at Joe, frowning when he was still looking at his phone.

Saying 'yes' when my ex-boyfriend had asked to come over probably wasn't my finest moment. Nor was it my finest moment when he'd initiated sex and I went along with it. But I was a girl, I had needs, and Joe was an easy option. Maybe I'd just been a little sad about spending my birthday alone. Either way, this was fine. It's fine.

"That was nice baby." I murmured, rolling over to press myself against his back, slipping an arm around him. I craved comfort and physical touch, especially after sex. I wasn't someone who gave myself away very easily, so when I did, it was a big deal to me. Even if it was with someone I'd been with for years.

I felt Joe's body stiffen under my touch, and he let out a gentle sigh, "Yeah, it was alright." He mumbled, not even bothering to look away from his phone. 

My stomach dropped. Alright? That's it?

That stung more than I'd wanted to admit. Sure, our sex had never been the stuff of wild fantasies. Joe was... well, vanilla was kind of a word for it. There was no build up, no foreplay, no teasing, nothing like that. It was just in and out until we both got our release, then it was over. But, I knew I wasn't bad at this. It wasn't me who had refused to step out of their comfort zone, refused to try anything new. That was all Joe.

Still though, he'd always managed to get me there. I'd never had to fake it, which was more than I could say for most women. I knew I was lucky, even if it wasn't the most romantic - I still got that release.

"I think I'm gonna head off, I have... stuff to do." Joe murmured, and climbed out of my bed, then pulled up his boxers and jeans like he hadn't just been inside me two seconds ago. Like it meant nothing.

"You just got here." I frowned, sitting up and pulling the covers tighter around my chest, not because I was ashamed but because I felt... exposed. Vulnerable. Even though this was Joe. Even though we'd done this a hundred times before.

Joe barely glanced at me, "Did I ever say I was staying the night? I have a girlfriend, Tay. I don't want her getting suspicious."

My stomach dropped. "What?"

He paused, pulling on his shirt like it was no big deal, "Don't act surprised. You really think I've been single for 6 months?" Joe asked, and I felt tears well in my eyes. All this time, I'd thought maybe we were both still navigating the whole post-breakup mess. I hadn't realised he'd moved on, and was only using me as his fallback. His convenient release.