All of Me

The Coming Friday

Four POV

We exit the classroom as Tori starts to clean up her desk. She was right, we have to bear with each other for the rest of the year. Tris is the head cheerleader and me being the quarterback. We both will have a lot more of our schedule in common than we would will for it to be.

I really don't hate Tris but neither do I like her. It's... actually hard to wrap my mind around what she thinks about me. I may come across as a douche but I really didn't mean anything of what I said to Tris.

I can not deny this though... I do sleep around but it's a just a way of escape for me.

I dread every single night to go back home. If it can even be called a home.

At least back at the girls houses I get a comfortable bed to sleep on.

My dad is filthy rich. Marcus Eaton, Ex-President and current member of interstate affairs council.

I own a Bugatti Divo and I think that's proof enough to show how rich my dad actually is. But back at home, even though my mattress is soft and inviting, it brings me horrible dreams... Especially dreams of that night.

The night.. when... I lost her. Because of him.

A person is much more complicated than he looks or poses to be. I flirted in class with Tris today... I always do just because I feel that I may have at least a tiny chance with her. Just one night. She is the Only girl who gives me such a hard time.. Always pushing my boundaries, constantly testing me and not giving in easily. To be honest... I like that. She is incredibly beautiful and brave. Unfortunately, whatever we share in bed, if that ever becomes true will have to remain restricted to the bed.

I can't open up to her... I can't drag her into my mess.

Tori's only one of the very few who knows about me. Her husband and the school's football coach Amar found out about me years ago, I broke down and told them everything. Other than them, Hana Pedrad Zeke's mom is the only one who knows about me.

The beating was bad last night.. The asshole was drunk...again and he found out I had an A on my math and apparently it was still not up to his expectations. He wanted an A. So I laid all night on my bed lulling myself to sleep with Linkin Park blasting into my ears after I got back home from Kristen's.

I felt different after the 'talk' with Tris in class.

I really felt my insides burning with shame.. shame of not living up to her expectations... I hate the image she has created of me in her mind.

Am I really such a mindless asshole.

I don't want to be that but it gives me a cover... a cover to bury all my pain inside. I can't let them know or else I'll loose... everything.

I can feel Tris turn towards me in the hallway as I'm snapped out of my thoughts.

I should apologize.

"I'm sorry." We both sigh... like we just are relieved to cut through the palpable tension. She continues before me, "I was really bad to you today. I'm so sorry. I never thought that Nita could have done that and I just assu-"

As I see her ramble on about how wrong she was, I can't help but smile... She looks freakin cute. I am staring at her dumbly as she rambles on. I decide that i need to shut this rambling or I'll blurt out something wrong.

I can feel my heart skip a beat when I place a finger on her lips to make her stop talking... without thinking of the consequences.

Dang it bruh.. What the fucking he'll am i doing. Her soft lips feel like a feather on my rough finger and this is killing me.

Bro think of something! Anything. What's wrong with you!? I mentally freak out.

Open you fucking goddamn mouth FOUR FUCKING EATON.

Involuntarily my mouth opens, "Shh",

... (blank again) as I gawk at her this time, my mind pieces up a sentence that is not actually a sentence.

"Its okay Tris. I have long forgotten about that. But I am really sorry to.. um hurt you like that.", (tell her what you really think... C'mon you can do it), "You're not a slut. Boys come behind you because you're simply amaz-... um I - uh mean um... You're absolutely... um-"

Shit bro... You're gone.

My heart stops completely as she give me her adorable smile and whispers with her soft lips against my finger, "It's okay Four."

I can't help but smile at the way she whispered that. Just for a moment... A small moment. I felt like... I was with her and only her and I was falling for her... slow and steady.

When she averted her eyes and walked past me i was pulled back out, back to my reality. Where I was nothing more than a playboy, in bed with a different girl every night.

Something I never wanted to be.

As she rounded around the wall and disappeared, I knew that it was not a moment that we just shared.

I was not capable of loving anyone.

It was just lust, it had to be, my body craving for what I can't get.

I looked down to the huge bulge in my pants..

Bro this thing has a mind of its own.