Will I Find My Way Out?

I'm from Italy, 23, and I've never felt better. I am no longer a parent; my father, my only grandpa, died when I was two years old, which, according to my mother, was extremely traumatic for me, but I won't say much since I don't remember. I felt like they didn't comprehend my circumstances and what I was doing. Even if they attempted to contact me, it was fruitless, partly because I don't believe they were guilty of the abuse I received. Considering my background, I enjoy where I am today.

I believe I'm clever, nice, and unusual. Despite my imperfections, I believe I'm a nice girl. My greatest challenge is keeping habits that prohibit me from being accepted in society. I was terrified of conflicts, had problems expressing myself, and was afraid of making errors. Even with financial troubles, I couldn't study or work.

I currently live alone with my mom, who has not found a job even though she has applied for public school employment. I attempt to assist her with housekeeping or clearing up my bedroom. Surprisingly, I didn't experience the money rush until the concern came from money. I had a hard time looking for employment since I didn't want to earn a degree. I'm bewildered as to why development is so tough; even if there's a tiny difficulty, I freeze and feel incredibly unhappy. My mom constantly reminds me that I should be calm because of my sadness, but I simply feel weary and bored. I wanted to keep going, but nothing inspired me.

I am continuously sidetracked by other things and have a hard time creating plans or studying. As much as I wanted to get out of this dreadful circumstance, it was simpler for me to remain where I was. I would want to hear from folks who have gone through this. Do you have any suggestions for solving these obstacles? Thank you in advance!