Inception

Chapter 65: I Don't Need a Guard Dog. I have a MAN.

It was a while later when Lena realized she was naked. Shock had a lot to do with that.

The shock stuck around all the way up to being wrapped in a blanket, loaded into a gurney, wheeled across a monstrosity of a Defense Force base, and into the medical ward. She probably would have stayed like that if she didn't get a heart-stopping, demonic kaiju skull in her face.

"Lena! Oh my gosh, are you alright? Oh man, I'm so sorry, if I was just thirty seconds faster you wouldn't have had to—"

"Down, Hibino!" barked Hoshina. "Be aware of what you look like before stuffing your ugly mug in people's faces."

"Oh! Right! Shit, sorry, uh..." A familiar shedding of glowing flecks revealed a friendly, bushy-brow face. "Sorry, Lena, it's just your friendly neighborhood Kafka! No kaiju here! Ack!"

Someone had passed in a hurry and forced Kafka's bulky Kaiju No. 8 body to make a clumsy contortion to avoid squishing them. Lena wasn't aware of what she was doing until she was out of the gurney, blanket forgotten, pawing for the big man.

"Kafka! Kafka!" she whimpered.

"Whoa! Naked lady!" he screeched.

"Lena Ichikawa!" A blanket was lassoed about her, blocking her view.

The next thing she knew she'd been bodily thrown back into the gurney.

Vice Captain Hoshina leveled a finger right between her eyes.

"Sit! Stay!"

She bit the finger.

Rather than recoil as any sane person would, Soshiro just sighed. He, after all, was still in his combat suit.

A still very dirty combat suit, as Lena instantly realized the taste of dirt and kaiju ick.

She spat it out, gagging, but didn't stop trying to get back to Kafka, who had disappeared among the crowd.

"Kafka!"

"It's alright! I'm here!" And so he was, reappearing shorter and much more human. Unlike her, his kaiju had left him with his clothes. She wondered if it would be the same if his kaiju had solidified about him like a tomb.

Because that's what had happened to her, right? Did it? Oh gosh, she didn't know. She didn't know anything.

"She's going to need to go below for testing," said the one pulling the front of the gurney, whom Lena had been trying to ignore because they looked awfully like a scientist, not a medical doctor. "Neither of you will be able to follow."

"Testing?!"

"Below?!"

The Vice Captain and Kafka exchanged glances as they spoke over each other.

The Vice Captain went first, his hands visibly tightening on his side of the gurney. "She just came out from a near-death experience, she needs medical attention and peace, not being carted away like kaiju parts!"

"Yeah! Those tests aren't meant for a delicate thing like her! I've been through them! Not that you're delicate or anything, Lena, but I, like, totally had a mental meltdown, PTSD, hashtag all the trauma—WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE! LEARN TO WALK!"

"So go with the flow of traffic!" Hoshina snapped, yanking Kafka towards the wall. "Look, have some humanity."

The lab coat man wrinkled his nose. "Unfortunately, I get my orders from above you, Vice Captain, and it's not even official whether we can trust the other human-kaiju lifeform—"

"So I'm a lifeform now?" squawked Kafka.

"Then how about this." Hoshina brought the gurney to a sharp halt, nearly yanking the scientist off his feet and launching Lena onto the floor in the process. "You let go and I won't cut off your arms."

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One time, when we were dating as teenagers, my husband tried to be all smooth by putting his arm over my shoulders. He didn't quite clear my head and ended up elbowing me in the eye. It hurt a lot. He wanted to die. And I probably made it worse by laughing. I don't know why that guy likes me so much.