Chasing

Chapter 13|love?

MILENA

"I know, right?!"Kirill laughed with Marat. They were that loud that I could hear them from the living room. I knew that I shouldn't have bought that playstation. 

"I like Elsa more. She is so cool."Alina said her eyes locked on the screen of the tv. 

"Please, can we watch Spiderman?"Adrian hugged Nikolai by his arm tightly making him chuckle. I couldn't help but smile at how cute they looked. 

It wasn't anything big. Watching some movies in the evening, with people that I love while snuggling on the couch, was one of the best feelings. I only wanted for us to be stuck in this moment. 

"...what about you, princess?"Nikolai asked making me snap out of my thoughts.

"It doesn't matter."I smiled leaning back on the couch, and played with the hem of my hoodie. 

"Then how about first we watch Frozen 2, and Spiderman after it?"Nikolai asked from Alina and Adrian as they agreed getting comfortable on the couch. Nikolai started the movie and covered kids with the blanket. 

Such a gentleman he is.

He sat next to me and placed the blanket over our laps, his arm resting behind me. I tucked my hair behind my ear and tried to focus on the movie. 

But it was impossible with Nikolai sitting next to me. His cologne filled my lungs making my head spin. It was normal for anyone to  have a crush on him. He was nice, smart, good with the kids, kind, handsome...

"Remember Milena, don't look for money or attractiveness in men. Your partner should only love you and only you. He should cherish you..respect you and be close with God. Only then you will be happy."

Mom's angelic voice reminded me in the small back of my head. I could feel chills running on my back as if my mom was with us in the room. 

I do miss her a lot. But remembering her words so suddenly made me creep out a bit. I usually never felt that way. 

Now that I think about it, her words make sense. She was never happy in her marriage. I could felt that, even tho she tried to hide it. The day she killed herself...their fight...it all made sense. 

Was she forced to marry dad?

Was it arranged marriage?

Or did she just pick the wrong guy to fall in love with?

I stood up from the couch as Nikolai looked at me confused. I muttered quietly 'bathroom', not to disturb my siblings when they were enjoying their movie, and came to my room. 

I don't know how I walked to my bathroom, but the next thing I know was I splashed cold water to my face, to clear my thoughts. 

If you looked at it from the side, I wasn't thinking about anything that was too emotional. But I knew myself better than anyone to know that everything starts this way. 

I took few breaths to keep myself calm as one of my therapists thought me to do. It usually helped.  

It nothing that serious. I'm fine. I'm fine. Don't do it. 

I kept repeating the same words in my head and walked out of the bathroom. I came back to the living room only to be met by Nikolai. 

"They fell asleep, so I put them to their beds. Marat and Kirill are still playing."Nikolai answered when he noticed my confused expression. 

Did I take that long?

Nikolai tapped the spot on the couch next to him, motioning for me to sit down. I sat next to him as he gently grabbed my hand, making me look at him. 

"What's on your mind, princess? You can talk to me. I'm always here for you."he said softly. I looked down at my lap, tears making their way. 

"I miss mom.."

These three words took all in me to cry out in front of him. But I had enough of pretending to be strong all the time. 

Nikolai wrapped his arms around me, embracing me in a warm hug as I cried on his chest. His hand was soothing my back in the most gentle way. For the first time in my life...I felt so vulnerable in front of someone. 

"Are you not gonna judge me for being this pathetic?"I muttered, too embarrassed to even look at him. 

"I'm happy that you trusted me this much, princess."he lift my chin up, wiping my tears away. I nodded, looking up at him. Yeah, crying a day before my birthday wasn't on my bucket list. Usually it happened at the night of my birthday. 

"That's it.."he smiled leaning closer to my face. My heart started beating fast, as if it was about to jump out of my ribcage.  

What's happening to me? 

 Is he gonna kiss me?

Am I ready to give my first kiss to him?

That was it. He kissed me. His soft lips on mine. 

It was similar to the feeling of getting drunk. I felt high and drunk from the kiss. 

With his hand on my lower back, he pulled me closer to himself. My arms wrapped around his neck, trying to embrace this moment. I knew, I could feel that I would be regretting it later. But it was too late to regret it now. 

"YEAH!"Marat yelled from upstairs and I quickly pulled back from Nikolai. 

Shit, I forgot about Marat and Kirill.

I looked everywhere but at Nikolai, as I cleared my throat and stood up from the couch. 

"Uh, I will go to sleep now. Are y-you gonna stay with Kirill?"I asked him. 

Why the heck I'm  stuttering?

"No, I'm gonna leave. I have work tomorrow."Nikolai rubbed his neck as I nodded. 

There was this awkward silence until I broke it. 

"I will see you out."I offered him. 

"That would be really nice."he gave me a small smile and made his way towards the door. I followed him quietly until we reached the door and he walked out of it. 

"Then see you in the morning, princess?"he smiled down at me. 

"Yeah.."I muttered. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek lightly. 

"Happy birthday, princess."he whispered softly pulling back. 

Before I could come back to my senses, he already left to his house. 

My birthday? Is it already past twelve?