Two classmates who used to hate each other, one of them fell in love with the other. Their religions are different, their standards are different, and their lives are different. Just two teenagers who hated each other, and now it's the last year of...
It’s 1 AM, and I can’t sleep because I slept a lot in the evening. So, I decided to check some old photos in my gallery. As I scroll, I see a lot of old pictures, but some of them are my favorites—most of them with Zoya. I just came across some pictures from two years ago, and for some reason, I’m blushing. Is this the best decision ever or the worst decision ever, where I’m now unable to fall asleep?
I just saw a picture of her with me, and now I’m not sure if I’ll be able to sleep or if I’m going to create scenarios in my mind all night. I realized that when I’m with her, I don’t have to fake a smile for the camera. Her presence makes me so happy that I can’t stop smiling or blushing naturally. No, no, no—I can’t stop talking about her now. She has this damn perfect smile, just so perfect.
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That reminded me of a song from the movie Meri Pyaari Bindu, and the line was Hareya main apna dil hareya. I feel so lucky that God gave me someone like her to fall in love with. But maybe God cursed her by making me a part of her life. I wish I were more handsome, smarter—someone she could love.
Maybe I think it's a blessing, but perhaps it’s actually a curse. Is there anything more painful than falling in love with someone who can’t be yours? I don’t think so. It was a very hurtful moment for me, seeing her with someone else two years ago, but I pretended to be happy because I had no other option. I was happy for her—she found someone who made her happy, someone who loved her so much that she cut me off. He was a smart guy, perfect for her, and I wondered why God didn’t make me like him.
Anyway, I was happy for her, so I prayed that she never gets her heart broken because I know how it feels when the person you love doesn’t love you back. It hurts, but one-sided love is beautiful in its own way because there’s no breakup, no arguments—just me and my love for her, peaceful.
Once in class, she told me that I used to hug her back in 3rd grade when I was just a little kid. Isn’t that cute? I wish that someday I could hug her again—maybe for the last time, or perhaps the first time in a long while. I wish she could feel my heartbeat and sense my love for her. Her name with every beat. Her name with every breath I take. Oh, such a filmy line. I know it sounds cringey, and that’s why I never write her a love letter. I know it would come off as cringe, and she might think, “Who’s this cringey guy?”
Did I mention she has five moles on her face? And that’s what makes her even more beautiful. I can’t figure out if there’s anyone more beautiful in this world, or if God gave her all the perfection that was left. Does she even know her worth? Of course, she does—everyone around her knows it too. She has the best body, the best soul, and the best face. No flaws—just her and her perfection. Truly a masterpiece. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and I’ll never regret that my heart feels something for her and that I fell for her. Falling in love with her? It’s just a kind of blessing not everyone gets—but lucky me.
I should try to sleep now, it’s too late. I kissed her photo for the first time, and maybe she’s sleeping now while I’m here, wondering if she somehow felt this kiss on her forehead. Ugh, delusional.
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