THE ESCAPE: A TAYVIS STORY

Chapter One

a/n: this book is inspired by a request from my lovely friend, charlie91706. i'm so grateful for her support and the ideas she shared!

trigger warnings:
this book contains content that may be sensitive or triggering to some readers, including:

    •    anxiety
    •    emotional and psychological abuse
    •    parental conflict
    •    trauma and PTSD
    •    fear of abandonment
    •    discussions of past abuse
    •    moments of heightened emotional distress
    •    feelings of insecurity and fear of safety
    •    nightmares or sleep disturbances
    •    parental separation
    •    mentions of controlling behavior
    •    emotional neglect
    •    panic attacks

please take care of yourself and proceed with caution if these topics are difficult for you.

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hazels pov ౨ৎ

we'd been at grandma's for three days when mama finally said we were going home. i could tell she was nervous about it, but she didn't let it show too much. she was good at hiding things, especially when it came to me.

the house in nashville had always been our summer place, the one we went to when mama wasn't on tour and things were quiet. i loved it then. the way the sun would shine through the windows in the mornings, the smell of the grass after it rained. it used to feel safe. but now, as we pulled up in front of the house, everything felt... different.

i didn't say anything as we walked inside. mama had a way of knowing what i was thinking without me even having to say it, but today, she was so focused on everything else, she didn't notice how i stopped in the hallway, just looking around. every wall, every room... it was all the same, but nothing felt right. there were too many memories here now, memories i didn't want to think about.

mama was talking about how she'd fix up my room, make it feel cozy again. "we can redecorate if you want," she said, her voice bright, but i could hear the edge in it. she wanted to make this place feel like home for me, but she didn't know how. "whatever you want, hazel."

i nodded, not really paying attention. my room was down the hall, the same one i'd stayed in since i was little, but i didn't want to go in there. the last time we were here, dad was with us. now, it just felt... empty. but i didn't tell mama that. i didn't want to make her worry more than she already was.

by the time the sun started to set, we were mostly unpacked. mama was in the kitchen, making dinner, and i was sitting on the couch, staring at the tv but not really watching it. i could hear her humming to herself, probably trying to calm her own nerves. she always did that when she was stressed.

it wasn't until after dinner, when i was getting ready for bed, that i felt it. that tight feeling in my chest. i stood in the doorway of my room, just staring at the bed. the same bed i'd slept in all those summers, but now, it felt too big. too empty. i didn't feel safe here, not like i did at grandma's.

i didn't want to be alone.

i walked back down the hall, my feet quiet on the hardwood floor. mama was already in bed, the soft glow of her lamp spilling into the hallway. i stood in the doorway, not saying anything at first, just watching her. she looked so tired, like she hadn't slept in days.

"mama?" my voice was small, and i hated how it sounded.

she looked up from her book, her face softening when she saw me. "what's up, baby?"

i hesitated, feeling silly for what i was about to ask. i was eight, not a little kid anymore. i wasn't supposed to be scared like this. but the words came out before i could stop them. "can i sleep with you tonight?"

she didn't even hesitate. she just scooted over, lifting the blanket. "of course, hazel. come here."

i crawled into bed next to her, feeling the warmth of her body next to mine. it didn't take long for the tightness in my chest to ease up. i still felt the weight of everything, all the stuff we weren't talking about, but for now, with mama beside me, it felt a little less heavy.

"we're gonna be okay, you know," she whispered after a while, her hand gently brushing my hair back. "i promise."

i didn't say anything, just nodded, my eyes heavy. i wasn't sure if i believed her, but i didn't want to think about it anymore. not tonight.

i felt her arms wrap around me a little tighter, pulling me closer like she could feel all the worries that still sat in my chest. "you don't have to be afraid anymore, hazey," she whispered. "i've got you. i always will."

then, her voice got even softer, and she started singing, she knew it always comforted me.

"close your eyes, my love, the stars are shining bright,
the world is quiet now, and everything's alright, 
i'm here beside you, always holding you near,
in every heartbeat, you'll never need to fear."

"you've been so brave, through the dark and the light,
no matter where we go, you'll always be my fight,
we've walked through shadows, but look how far we've come,
you're safe now, darling, you're my only one."

"rest now, my sweet, let the world drift away,
tomorrow will come, but we have this today,
i'll keep you warm, i'll keep you in my song,
forever in my heart, where you belong."

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hope you like this chapter 🩷!!