wonderland | m. schumacher

twenty-six

XXVI.              Loving You

AUSTRALIA: March 2024

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            QUALI DAY: Mick was lost in a huge storm of confusion and self-recrimination. The track was behind him now, and with it, the remnants of a quali that had gone wrong. Mick didn't know where everything had fallen apart; all he knew was that the car was not performing as it should, and his performance had not met his own high expectations. The disappointment gnawed at him, a relentless reminder that he could have pushed harder, that he had the ability but hadn't fully utilized it.

He had apologized countless times to the team, to Toto, but he hadn't yet faced the most important person: himself. Once Mick arrived in his driver's room, he was consumed by frustration. The urge to pull at his hair was nearly overwhelming. He had to calm down, but his knee bounced nervously, betraying his inner turmoil. His chest felt like it was being constricted, each breath a struggle against an invisible force squeezing the air from his lungs.

Mick Schumacher was in the midst of a panic attack.

Yet, as fate would have it, he was not alone in this moment of crisis. The door to his small driver's room creaked open slowly. Mich, his wife, peeked in, her steps tentative and measured. She knew how Mick reacted in situations like this—he needed time to himself before he could face others. She would not startle him; instead, she would offer a calming presence and let him come to her when he was ready.

Mich waited silently, counting to sixty in her head, giving Mick the space he needed to breathe. The seconds ticked by slowly, each one stretching out as Mick finally managed to release a long, shuddering breath. His hands fell to his sides, and he looked up, his eyes meeting Mich's. Her presence was both reassuring and expected; she always seemed to find him, no matter where he was or how lost he felt.

They stared at each other across the room, the silence stretching between them. Mich took in the sight of her husband—his knee was still bouncing, his breath uneven. She moved slowly, deliberately, approaching him with the grace of someone who understood the delicate balance required in moments like these. Her hand reached out tentatively, and Mick, almost instinctively, grasped it tightly.

In a swift motion, he pulled her closer, guiding her to his lap. His face buried itself in the crook of her neck, seeking solace in her warmth. Mich wrapped her arms around him, her embrace a soft anchor in the storm of his emotions. The comfort of her presence began to seep into his tense frame, a balm for his frayed nerves.

Minutes ticked by as Mick clung to her, the intensity of his distress slowly disappearing. Mich knew that words would come eventually, but for now, she simply held him, her fingers gently rubbing his back. The rhythm of her touch was steady, a quiet reassurance that he was not alone.

When Mick finally pulled back slightly, his tears had begun to slow, but his voice was choked with emotion. "I'm sorry, baby..." he whispered, the words barely audible.

Mich was taken aback by his apology. She pulled away slightly to look into his eyes, her own filled with concern and confusion. "Sorry? Why?" she asked, her voice tinged with a gentle confusion. Mick's gaze was heavy with self-loathing, and it broke her heart to see the disappointment reflected there. "Sorry because I failed you," he said, his voice cracking as fresh tears threatened to spill.

Mich's heart ached for him. She reached up, cupping his face in her hands and gently wiping away the tears that streaked down his cheeks. "You are not a failure," she said firmly, her voice steady and reassuring. "There will always be good days and bad days. Today might be a bad day, but there is always tomorrow. And every single day, I will be here. To cheer you on or to cheer you up."

Her words seemed to reach the very core of Mick's being. He leaned more into her touch, the anxiety gradually fading as her words and warmth enveloped him. "You want to know why?" Mich asked softly, her voice barely more than a whisper. Mick nodded eagerly, his eyes searching hers, his anxiousness slowly being replaced by a focus on her comforting presence.

Mich took a deep breath, gathering her courage. This wasn't the ideal moment, but sometimes, the right words had to be spoken, no matter the circumstances. "Because I love you," she whispered, her voice filled with sincerity.

Those three words hung in the air between them, a powerful affirmation of the bond they shared. The intensity of the moment shifted, the weight of Mick's disappointment being softened by the unconditional love Mich offered. Her declaration was not just a comfort but a reminder of their partnership, of the strength they drew from each other.

Mick closed his eyes, letting the truth of her words wash over him. The pressure and self-reproach that had clouded his mind began to dissipate, replaced by a profound sense of connection and reassurance. He held her tightly, the warmth of her embrace a counterpoint to the cold grip of his earlier panic.

Mich continued to hold him, her own emotions a mix of relief and sadness for the pain he was experiencing. She knew that the road ahead would be filled with both triumphs and setbacks, but in this moment, all that mattered was the presence of each other. Their love was a sanctuary, a place where even the deepest fears could be faced and overcome.

As the minutes passed and Mick's breathing steadied, Mich remained a constant, unwavering source of support. She knew that the challenges of the day would not disappear with a single comforting embrace, but she also understood that her presence alone was a powerful force in helping him navigate through his struggles.

In the quiet of the driver's room, surrounded by the aftermath of a challenging quali and the complexities of their lives, Mick and Mich found solace in each other.

"I love you too baby."

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