I Loved You First

Chapter 1: Eloise

AUGUST

"Don't be late. You cannot be late."

The mantra that I keep repeating to myself as I change outfits for the third time this morning. Spoiler... It rarely helps. I'm always late.

"Eloise. Seriously?! I will never forgive you if you make me late for my very first day of high school." I hear the groan echo through the hall and roll my eyes.

My little sister, Emely. I would say she's just angst-y due to the fact that she can't drive yet and is forced to ride with me everywhere she goes, but she always seems to be slightly irritated with me so truthfully, I'm unfazed.

I sneak one last look in the mirror and take a deep breath.

Do I even look like a senior?

I pull my shoulders back, turning to see what that does for my chest, but quickly release them because no, I do not.

I've always looked younger than my actual age. I'm slender, yet to fully fill out an A cup, and have this innocent baby face. People keep telling me how much I'll appreciate that one day, but the jury is still out on that one. For now, it just makes for more than a few awkward moments when people mistake Emely as the oldest sibling.

There are four of us. Me, Emely, and our two younger brothers. Our parents, God bless them, named us all with the same first letter - Eloise, Emely, Eli, and Emett. Some think it's charming, others weird, so you'll have to decide for yourself on that one. I, however, have got to go!

I grab my bag and notebook from my impeccably organized desk. I may always be late, but I'm the most organized late person you'll ever meet. A night owl by nature, I tend to find motivation and energy after everyone in our house goes to sleep.

Don't get me wrong, I love my big family, but as someone who needs solitude, a big family can feel overwhelming at times. So, when the house gets quiet and everyone goes to sleep, I feel like I can finally recharge and just be.

That's what happened last night when I reorganized all of my new notebooks, pens, and calculators in my bag before I attempted to nail down a first day outfit. An attempt which led to a meticulous closet purge and restructuring of my color coded system. All in preparation for the first day of senior year. A year that I plan to take head on. I want to make this year my own, take a more active role in the direction of my own life.

I want to have the perfect senior year.

"You could at least choose a less boring outfit if you're going to take that long," Emely deadpans as I walk down the stairs. A ray of sunshine, my sister.

I quickly take a bite of my frosted cherry Pop-Tart so as not to say what I really think of her drab Bella Swan ensemble. She's going through a Twilight phase and it's started to translate to her clothing choices. But, hey. It's her first day of high school and I suspect she's not as tough as she lets on, so I keep quiet.

Yet again.

I'm good at that - keeping quiet. Maybe it's the bigger family or just my more passive, observational nature, but I'm hoping that may change a bit this year too.

Regardless, I love my outfit. A navy blue polo dress and matching Mary Jane ballet flats that I basically own in every color. It may be simple, but this outfit feels like me and I know at least one person who will like it.

As we pull into the senior parking lot, I see the kids that I've gone to school with for the last three years buzzing with excitement.

It's a sea of new shoes and first day outfits. I can always pick out the seniors because, for whatever reason, seniors don't carry backpacks. It seems to be an unwritten rule at our school that senior guys carry gym bags and senior girls carry tote bags. A tradition that I'm happy to oblige with my new L.L. Bean Boat and Tote which I had my initials, EEJ, monogrammed on in dark green. Our school color. Emely had plenty to say about that one.