I Loved You First

Chapter 2: William

AUGUST

God, I missed her.

I linger like a grade A creeper, watching Elle walk into her homeroom. Being away from her for the last two weeks, once again, proved just how much she affects my world.

I swear, she's like the freaking sun. All warm and bright, lighting up everything in its path simply by being. She's always had this presence about her that makes me feel lighter and, well, happy. I wouldn't say that I'm an unhappy person, but I'm known to get in my head.

People closest to me would tell you that I put too much pressure on myself and they're right, I do. But to that I say, show me another option.

It's simple... There isn't one.

Being here, at Wembley High School, I've learned the harsh reality that no one else is going to help me get to where I want to be. It's all on me, so it's not like I can just turn the pressure off and on when I please; or at least I haven't been able to find a way to.

Other than her.

She turns to look over her shoulder, loose chestnut curls flowing down her back, and shoots me a soft shy smile when she sees me still watching her. Classic Elle. She does that all the time and has absolutely no idea how much it wrecks me. How much she wrecks me.

That's the thing about Eloise James. She has no sense of her affect on people. Including the extent of her affect on me. I like to tell her that she's Wembley's best kept secret. She's so reserved and quiet, but once you know her like I do, you'll never be the same.

"Rhodes!" I hear bellow from behind me.

I take a breath and brace myself for the force I know is coming. Carter has been my best friend since middle school. He's one of those guys that you can't help but love. He'd remind you of a puppy. Big energy, loves everybody, loyal as they come, but when he makes a mess - which is often - it's usually a big one.

He enthusiastically grabs and shakes my shoulders. He's one of those people that's never alone, so I know the other guys are just a few steps behind him. "Dude, where have you been? We were waiting for you in the quad. Thought you were meeting us before homeroom?"

Graham, Hudson, Carter, and I grew up playing both football and baseball together, so we naturally formed a friend group and I guess since I'm the best in both sports, I was deemed the leader.

I'm an only child and kind of, but not really - Okay, yeah. I secretly wish I had a brother. These guys? They're the closest thing I've ever had to that.

Being an only child, my parents watch me like a hawk while theirs are far less strict. These three can get away with just about anything and they take full advantage of it. We always have a good time, but the older we get the more obvious it becomes that they don't have the same kind of drive or goals for their future as I do.

I shrug my shoulders trying to loosen his grip. "I know, sorry. I was walking Elle to class."

Three, two, one...

"The ole ball and chain. You know I love Elle, man, but you're missing out. I've already had three girls ask about you just this morning. Three!" I roll my eyes as he holds three fingers up in front of my face.

Straight from the Carter Jackson pitchbook.

In all the years we've been friends he hasn't had a relationship longer than two weeks, so he's completely baffled when it comes to mine.

"Not interested. And you should be happy I'm not single. You really wouldn't have a chance then," I joke. Graham and Hudson laugh and punch Carter like two little boys. They love when the joke is at his expense and not theirs.

It always makes me uncomfortable when they start on the girls asking about me or the girls bold enough to ask themselves. I see the notes, the messages, the stares. The older we get, the bolder they get. But come on, I've been in the same relationship for years now, can't everyone just move on? Elle has always been cool about it and I do my best to reassure her that she has nothing to worry about, but I know it has to bother her on some level.

What's odd is that it seems like the fact that I don't want that kind of attention is partially why I get it. I mean, if Carter were in my position he would eat it up and trust me, the attention he does get, he eats up. Hence the two week relationships.

"Dude, see what I mean?" He points to a group of what I assume are underclass girls, eyes locked on my every move. Great. I try to smile as platonically as one can, but it's always so uncomfortable.

Elle says it's because I'm nice and have a way of making people feel seen even when I'm not trying. If that's the case, then what am I supposed to do? Be a jerk? I don't want to be a jerk. I just want to be me. I want to get through my classes, play great football, get into an Ivy League school, and get the hell out of Wembley.

I release a heavy breath. Honestly, it's sad. I'm the most popular guy here because I'm good at football and I'm nice? Feels pretty hollow to me.

In my mind, I haven't done anything to deserve the kind of attention that I get. I didn't even get a 30 on my first ACT attempt. That's who should get this kind of attention, someone with a perfect ACT and an Ivy League acceptance letter in hand, not some football player that's nice.

Nobody here gets that, which is exactly why I have to get myself as far away from this town and the complacency that it breeds as I can. And if I'm as good at football as everyone lets on, then that's what's going to get me there.

It has to.