In Another Life (EreJean)

epilogue

For the twelfth time this month, Jean's sleep is interrupted.

He stirs awake, already knowing what's happening. He has over four years of practice. But it's become more frequent since they moved in. Buying their first house together is a major milestone. It makes sense that Eren's brain is more active at night.

Eren sleeps on his side, facing Jean. Long strands of chestnut hair cascade against the pillowcase. His mouth curves into a pout as a soft whimper escapes him.

Jean knows the routine. He pulls Eren closer and embraces him. The warmth of Eren's chest against his own relaxes him. Not completely, of course.

While Jean has vowed multiple times throughout the years that he'll stick with Eren even through the most troubling times, this is his least favorite part. He hates when Eren mumbles or fidgets in his sleep. It's the only instance in which Jean can't read him, whether he's experiencing a dream or a nightmare. He only finds out when Eren wakes up and tells him.

It's roughly an even split. Sometimes Eren's dreams are so absurd that all Jean can do is laugh at how cute his fiancé is. Like when he and Eren are wizards and hold contests over who can perfect a certain spell faster. Or when they're Sims characters and maintain a lavish lifestyle in a mansion with millions of Simoleons without either of them ever getting a job. Or Eren being a prince and fleeing the kingdom so he and Jean can run away together. Or Jean being a mermaid (he's still confused about this) that can turn human, Eren being a pirate, and somehow the two of them making their relationship work seamlessly.

Those are the fun stories. If they were all like that, Jean's chest wouldn't hurt when Eren shivers in his grasp like this.

But Eren's nightmares are damaging, especially as of late. The recurring one involves them and their friends in the military, either fighting off these huge creatures called Titans or fighting the militaries of other countries. They always end one of two ways: Eren committing mass genocide and Jean killing him, or Jean committing mass genocide and Eren killing him.

It's dark and gruesome. Jean wishes he understood psychology so he can piece together why Eren's subconscious chooses to show him such atrocities while he sleeps. He's also curious as to why they're always so young in these dreams, getting together at sixteen and dying at nineteen. He and Eren hadn't even met until they were twenty when Jean was in need of a tutor to help him pass German 102. Professor Pixis was not an easy grader.

Eren's breathing picks up, so Jean kisses his head twice. Signs point to another nightmare. Jean can shake him awake, but last time he tried that resulted in Eren waking up screaming and crying. Since then, they agreed to let Eren's dreams play out without interference, no matter how much it pains Jean to watch them unravel.

Bits of moonlight trickle through the window, the rest of the master bedroom victim to the evening darkness. Eren's quiet mumbles and Jean's rubbing of Eren's back are the only sounds heard within these four walls. Jean lulls into serenity from the scent of his lover, from the tender rise and fall of his chest. Reminders that Eren is still here, even when his mind is off elsewhere.

Another whimper from Eren, then his eyes flutter open. He looks up at Jean, who brushes a finger against his cheek. Even in the dark, his embarrassment is obvious.

"Sorry," he says. "I did it again, didn't I?"

Jean smiles, then kisses his forehead. "Don't be sorry."

Eren untangles himself from Jean and flops on his back. He lets out a deep sigh, then the room falls still.

It's not awkward. It's never awkward. They're well past that stage in their relationship. No topic is off limits. But sometimes, finding the words to say is what's difficult.