In Another Life (EreJean)

thirty

Chapter summary: Jean reaches a pivotal conclusion.

Eren enters Jean's room with a full plate of sugar cookies. Like snowflakes, no two are the same. The frosting and sprinkles patterns Vera meticulously decorated them with are pleasing to the eye. They're painted with pastels reminiscent of the spring flowers she grows in their house back in Trost.

"Here," Eren says. He sits on the edge of the bed next to Jean, slipping the plate between them. "They're fresh out of the oven."

"Thank you," Jean mutters while taking one.

They snack in silence. Jean feels Eren's eyes on him, though he doesn't look to confirm. The dried tear streaks against his face loom over the room. He's ashamed he allowed himself to break down like that, in front of Eren no less. Everything was going great and of course he screwed it up. Now Eren has to carry the weight of Jean's strife when he shouldn't have to.

Eren's the first to finish his cookie. He wipes his hands free of crumbs, then addresses Jean.

"So, are you going to tell me what just happened?"

Jean takes his time chewing. Bless Vera's baking prowesses for transcending universes. This cookie doesn't repair his heartbreak, but it's the first bandage layer. Several more are needed to stop the blood flow, but at least there's a strong foundation to build off of.

Finally, he meets Eren's gaze. This would be a lot easier if he weren't so breathtaking. Jean wants to stare into those eyes and admire how beautiful the world can be until he takes his last breath. Unfortunately, he's on borrowed time. May as well make it count.

"I'm just really happy with you," he says. "I don't want it to end."

Eren gives a lopsided smile. It's cute. A second bandage wraps around Jean's heart, this one thicker than the last.

"We just started."

"I know," Jean says, "but still."

Eren moves the plate to the nightstand by Jean's bed so he can slide closer. His hand rests on Jean's back. It's warm even through Jean's shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jean. You know that, don't you?"

How badly Jean wishes that were true. The unknown scares him, but what scares him more is what he does know. There's no way around Eren's fate in their world. Even if Jean is blessed to live a peaceful life into his seventies, can he really call it a blessing if Eren isn't there? He'll have to shut himself in his room every time night rolls around to avoid seeing the starry sky. He'll never be able to stomach another strawberry. He'll even have to force back tears every time he walks past a dopey sunflower.

Eren leans back and pats his lap. "Come here."

Jean doesn't hesitate. The only thing that can comfort him is the affection of the same boy he's torn up about.

He adjusts himself, his body fully lying on the bed now. He rests his head on Eren's lap, burying his face into Eren's cashmere sweater. The scent grants Jean a burst of endorphins that he can't get enough of.

He hugs Eren's stomach. The sound of Eren snorting above him makes Jean grin like an idiot, heightened even further when Eren begins playing with his hair. A tender massage of the scalp that can drift any insomniac to sleep. Jean hugs Eren tighter, cherishing the moment.

Lamentations about the future can wait. When Eren touches him like this, nothing else matters. As temporary as it may be, Eren is still his to hold. For now, that's enough.