City Girl

Train

I was jolted awake by the blaring sound of my phone ringing, the noise reverberating painfully through my head. Groaning, I fumbled across the bed in search of the device. Stretching over Derek's bare body, I finally located it on the nightstand.

I squinted at the screen, the bright light stinging my eyes. It was Charles. I hesitated, contemplating whether to throw it away and crawl back under the covers, but the persistent ringing demanded my attention. I hadn't seen him in over a month, maybe he was back in the city? With a groan, I pressed the button to answer.

"Hello?" My voice was raspy, trying to stop the swirling in my head.

"Hey Mal" he said his voice sounding sorrowful "hope I'm not waking you up."

I rubbed my eyes, trying to shake off the remnants of sleep and the pounding headache that accompanied it. "No, you're fine. Just... not quite awake yet. What's going on?"

There was a brief pause on the other end, and I could hear him take a deep breath. "I don't know how to say this, your mom she's- she's passed away"

The words hit me like a freight train, hard and unforgiving. My heart dropped, and for a moment, the world around me seemed to blur into nothingness. I gripped the edge of the bed tightly, trying to ground myself in the reality of it all.

"What?" I managed to whisper, my voice trembling. "What do you mean? How? When?"

Charles took a deep breath, his tone heavy with emotion. "I got the call this morning from your father, saying he wouldn't be able to come into work. He didn't go into detail, but it sounds like it was very sudden. I'm so sorry, Mal. I thought you should know, I know you don't talk to your family"

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me, and I struggled to process the information. The room felt like it was closing in, the walls pressing against me as my mind raced. I could barely comprehend what he was saying.

"How could this happen?" I stammered, my breath coming in shaky gasps. "She was fine... the last time I saw her...."

A torrent of emotions surged through my mind: the harshness of my parents, their treatment of my queerness as if it were an illness. Despite everything, I had never wished death upon either of them. My mother had her faults, but she certainly didn't deserve this.

"Mal, I know this is overwhelming," Charles continued gently, his voice a steady anchor in the chaos. "I can buy you a train ticket so you can come down here and attend the funeral, stay with me for a few days"

I could feel tears prick at the corners of my eyes, the weight of his offer hanging in the air. The thought of facing my family again—after everything—felt unbearable. But at the same time, I knew I couldn't ignore this reality.

"Thank you, Charles," I said, my voice trembling. "I don't even know what to say right now. I feel so lost."

"You don't have to say anything," he replied softly. "Just let me help you. It's okay to lean on someone right now."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself as I wiped away a stray tear. "I'll take you up on that offer," I said finally. "I need to be there, even if it's complicated."

"Alright, I'll get that ticket for you. Just hang in there, Mal," Charles said, his voice filled with warmth and reassurance.

As we spoke, I felt a mixture of dread and determination settle in my chest. I knew I would have to face the ghosts of my past, the unresolved issues with my family, but I also felt the strength of support from Charles, anchoring me amid the turmoil.

After a few more minutes of discussing logistics, I hung up the phone, feeling both relieved and utterly broken. I glanced over at Derek, who was still asleep, oblivious to the storm that had just erupted in my life.