Help Me

Chapter 4

Emma's POV

I sit in my car, afraid. Why did I do that. Why did I act so  dumb. How could a person like me like him. I am being crazy, I'm not thinking right. 

Jake walks by my car like a movie star. His blonde buzz cut shines in the sun and his eyes sparkle, like always. It's wierd to think that a person like that has no friends. A beautiful boy, someone diffrent. I've always wondered what it would be like if someone new cam to the popular side. Would they be welcomed, or be there but not interact with the rest of us. 

Our group has always been even. Me and Derek, Jenn and Reed, Anna and Nick, and Katie and Mike. What if someone new came, would they mess it all up. Things with Derek are getting harder. He loves me but he loves all the dumb hoes he humps when he 'studies'. He thinks I don't know, but I've seen the eviedence. Bra's and thongs he tries to hide, the codom wrappers in the garbage. Hair ties, bobby pins and clips all over his pillows, entangled in his shhets. All the things I ignore, I don't need drama with him, I get enough at home. Plus, every once in a while, he helps.

I pull into my driveway, and prepare for the war. My phone is in my pocket keys in my hand, purse over sholder. 

"Emma!" 

"Shit," I mumble under my breath. "Yeah dad?" I shout so he can hear. 

"Get over hear and help your father!" 

He never talks, all he dose is shout. When mom dies the whiskey and vodka got him, even though she was killed of a drunk driver. Such irony. I approch him and imediatly smell the vodka. I cringe, but quickly return to a normal face, afraid of him seeing. "What do you need help with?"

He shoves me on the couch. "You know very well what I need help with you dumb bitch!" 

I get up and brush of my clothse and throw my bag over my shoulder. I walk over to the table and pour a large helping of whiskey, and mix it with a bit of coke. I hand it too him. He grumbles something incoherint. I walk over to his address book and flip to a random page. "Genne?" 

"No, she wont."

"Okay," I flip a few pages aheas. "Micheal?"

"Ohh yea," he responds. 

You must think its awkward, picking  my dads mate for the night. If nobody can he threatens that I will be, but someone has always come. I dial the phone and theres no answer. 

"She din't answer." I frown.

"Well," he slures, "come sit on papa's lap." He looks at me and when I don't move he yells. "Emma get your ass on the couch. Why don't you love me. Don't you want me to be happy!?" 

I grab all my things and run. I fly upstairs to my room. In my mind I'm lying with Jake, on a warm beach, no bruises, bumps, or scars. In reality I am laying on my bed scared, my dad yelling for me to come. Sorry dad but I will not let you rape me. 

I look up, tears nesting on my eye. I look out the large window and see Jake. His eyes say 'I want to help' but he can't. I want him to come in and kick my dads ass, but where would we be then. I can't have him but want him, I have Derek but don't want him. Why is every thing so complicated. I want a normal life, happy mom and dad, good boyfriend. Nothing goese my way.

Jake hops from the low tree into the soft dirt that is my yard. I don't mind him watching me, I just dodn't want him to know, but he dose. Maybe he will  help.