JOKER || LITTLE IMAGINES

Ten || With You

There was something off about your dada,
but you just couldn't quite place your
finger on it.
Calmer than usual,
eyes that looked slightly faded
when you stepped into his office during the night
to see him because it had been hours
now since he had come home and
he still hadn't acknowledged you after the entire day of being with your nona,
the lady he had on his payroll to take care
of you when he had business
to attend to.

"Dada?"
You stood there in your little pyjamas,
looking at him with suspicious eyes
like somebody had killed him and
taken over his body like the old horror
movies that would come on television late at night
and would scare you half to death before
you could get to the remote
to switch it over.

Looking off to the side to see you standing there,
a grin formed on his lips
as he said just one word to you.

"Come"

Not knowing if you should do what he told you to or run off to hide in the bottom of the closet
in your play room and dial 911,
you approached him hesitantly before
he pulled you onto his lap as you stayed silent,
staring at him with little eyes
like something was very strange about
the man who usually shouted at you
every chance he got
and wouldn't let you do anything
even remotely fun without stopping you.

"Are you sure you're my daddy?"
You asked him curiously.
"Because I don't remember him being like this.
Why are your eyes so weird?"

"I've been drinking"
He told you lowly,
finger tips brushing against your cheek
as he tucked a stray strand of hair
behind your little ear,
not about to tell you that he had really been
taking lines in the club earlier that night
in between deals to keep himself awake
when he hadn't slept in days
in an attempt to keep up with the chaos
that was Jack Napiers life
and that he was just coming
down from the high but of course,
you were oblivious and
had no idea about what caused
which symptoms.
"That's all"

"Drinking?"
You gasped,
wide little eyes staring back at him like
he had done something terribly bad.
"Oh my gosh,
daddy!
that's so bad"

"Yeah"
He chuckled at you amusedly,
a smirk forming on his mouth as he looked at you.
"So you don't want to be like daddy,
huh?"

"Why not?"
You tilted your little head.
"I'm sure god will forgive you daddy,
if you're really sorry and you promise him
you'll never do it ever again"

"Oh,
but that's the problem"
He answered you,
the sound of the fireplace crackling in
the distance on the cold autumns night,
the flames reflecting onto your faces in
the dim lit room.
"Daddy's not sorry.
So why should I even bother,
hm?
I think
at this point,
I should have some basic decency and
accept that i'm going to hell"

Starting to scare you,
frozen on his lap,
you went to climb down and
find refuge in the safety of your playroom
where all your stuffies were,
but he took hold of your little arm firmly
and you were forced to stay there.

"Don't go"
He uttered the words like
they were foreign,
but something he needed for the first
time in his life.
Company.

"Daddy didn't mean to scare you,
alright?
Why don't you read one of those books
to me you keep whining about?"

"Really?"
Your little face lit up as you climbed down
from his lap and disappeared before
he could even answer you,
returning with a whole handful
of your paddington bear books,
settling onto his lap with your little head
resting against his chest,
the first few buttons to his shirt undone
as he placed you onto his thigh
where it was more comfortable and
you could show him all of the pictures
whilst you giggled at all of the silly
things paddington did.

And a derelict feeling came over him
that he didn't recall once ever having over
the entire past decade
that had seemingly flown by like
a kaleidoscope of memories.

Peace.
Only with you.

"Look dada,
it's an airaplane!"

"It's aeroplane,
doll".