"I don't wanna be the owner of your fantasy, I just wanna be a part of your family" -Anything, Adrianne Lenker
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in which Luella Rosier needs a break from life and a certain annoying brunette
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This story is an AU where James and...
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Luella couldn't sleep– try as she might, she just couldn't. Usually, she would sleep like a baby at Hogwarts, but her fight with Caelum kept her up, well if that was even considered an argument.
He was angrier– meaner than he usually was. He never acted like that towards her, he couldn't. They had to stick together to survive at home, so why was he acting horrible now?
They both went through the same pains at home, but maybe they just handled things differently. Caelum was always more prone to violence– that's how he was raised to be. He took all of his anger and turned it into hate because that's the only thing that would survive in their world.
But Luella tried to take the violence thrown at her and turn it into something gentler, kinder. However, something as pure as kindness could stay pure.
She sighed as she sat upright in her bed, it was the middle of the night. All of her roommates were asleep and the room was pitch black, save for the moonlight streaming in through the window.
Luella grabbed a candle, lit it, and set it down. She pulled the curtains that were hanging around her bed shut. A dim light encompassed the enclosed space and she pulled out her journal.
It was a worn thing, the edges fraying with age and use. It was a habit for Luela to journal whenever she needed to get something out. It helped release the ever-present tension that constantly ran through her body.
Her family was a constant topic in her writings and they probably would be for a while. Her father was his whole own topic. He was a deadbeat at best, never around to care for or nurture his children.
Growing up in a family like her's she never felt like she belonged– she was never taught how to belong. She didn't have any parental love to shape her into a person worth living.
Hogwarts was the place that taught her how to live, it showed her color for the first time. Meeting her friends saved her at the time. But now she felt like she did when she first arrived at the school two years ago, distant and desolate.
Luella didn't know what she wanted, but she knew she wanted something. She just couldn't quite imagine what it was, but she did know that it was just out of reach– like everything else in her life.
The girl sighed as she looked at the clock, it was just past two a.m. It annoyed her extremely, she only suffered insomnia when she was back home, but now its greedy hands had reached Hogwarts.
Luella closed the journal and blew out the candle. She snuggled deeper into her blankets and shut her eyes, attempting to get some sleep.
