Leaving it all behind - (hololive x male reader)

1 - a farewell, to the cherished

*POV Y/n:*

The sound of waves gently hitting the shore filled my ears as I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath whilst simply taking in the moment for what it is, a relaxing point of time, distant of problems, allowing me to simply take time to relax...

Slowly sitting down I sigh, from what it feels like, seemingly I'm sitting on the sand still, nothing beneath me, fitting... after all I've brought no blanket or such to take a seat upon, the time I'll spend here is limited, not meant to last much longer...

'Life can get hectic, spiraling out of control to the point you're unable to grasp it for yourself once more, what you called your own is now simply but a distant memory, slipping out of your hands at every chance you're given to hold it once more.'

'But... it's not impossible to take it back, it... is quite the challenge to get back what you've lost, to accept your actions weren't wrong, to admit it's not that you weren't good enough, rather you're not able to do everything at once, no person can learn every skill or even master it.'

'I'm truly sorry for being unable to save you back then, but... don't take this personally, the memories we made, the happiness we shared, the pain... I'll never forget it, those moments shaped me as a person, just as your loss has, my world which once shined so brightly, vibrant colors everywhere, saturated to the point you'd believe I'm wearing rose tinted glasses... simply shattered when I lost you.'

A solemn expression rests on my face as I hug my knees, resting my head upon them to give myself a sense of comfort, part of me felt tired in all honesty, but the majority of it... felt like holding onto something, even if it's my own.

'...Those colors never returned to their original state, but I've accepted it for that, I learned to walk without you, to take those first steps by myself, talking to people close to you and I became quite hard, their eyes displaying images of you, their voices causing me to reminisce of what we were, of the things we did...'

'Even so, I've decided to take another step without you, well... that's a lie, this is what you would have wanted so you're most likely pushing me forward, being the one yet again that tells me to go on, but... I'm taking initiative, I will take that leap of faith, trusting in only myself.'

I chuckle slightly, the sun shining brightly upon my face, even with eyes closed the familiar warmth it gave me was a obvious sign that it had come to greet me once more, perhaps it was here to embrace me in my time of need.

Too late though... it's simply too late, yet I appreciate the sentiment of its actions, but I've already made up my mind, declared my intended action, how I'll live my life...

'Time was always ticking, a countdown to the inevitable we were unaware of had been going down, second after second you approached your demise, a early grave unbefitting of someone talented, it's not your fault though... nor is it mine, no one is at fault, of course I could blame life itself for what it has done... but that's the way it goes.'

'Life is a uncertain and frail thing, so easily shattered by simple actions, by things no one had expected, yet there's beauty behind that, knowing anything could happen, that roads may lead to a dead end, only for your path to intertwine with that of another.'

'We... simply play the game, with the cards we're given, if we dislike them we can complain and get mad or we'll just take the chances and play it out, winning with what many would consider a terrible hand, only if you're willing to change things will they ever huh...'