Chapter 36: I would cease to exist.

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Synopsis of previous chapter, the clean version: Between playful banter you called Alastor your 'imperfection,' which he didn't like. He explained he preferred if you called him either by his name or a nickname like 'love,' or 'mate.' You found that interesting and asked about it. He explained that even though he didn't love you, he did consider the two of you mates. You were confused as to how two people could be considered mates if they didn't love each other. He explained that even though he doesn't love you, he desires you. He wants to help you grow and become stronger. He wants to be the only one who is this close to you in your afterlife, and he expects the same from you. For now, and forever.

Now, onto the show!


I keep thinking of last night. I have so many emotions about it. One of the many emotions floating around being worry. Worried and wondering if we got rid of any evidence of our... escapades.

But beyond that, a renewed sense of belonging and appreciation. To be someone's someone. I've never been lucky enough in life for that. Sure, I went on dates. But those were always fronts. No one ever seemed right. No one ever seemed like they truly wanted to know me as a person. They just wanted me for what I could offer them. A piece of their puzzle to complete their picture. It didn't matter what the piece was as long as it fit.

But with Alastor, he sees me for who I am. He sees me for my strengths, my abilities, even my weaknesses. Hell, at one point in my brief life he saw me as a competitor.

However, he doesn't love me. So, truly, am I just being used? Is he just using me for my strength? My abilities? Exploiting my weaknesses?

Ugh, I'm thinking too much about this. Who cares if it's imperfect! It works for me!

The hotel has become slightly busier since Adam's death. Because it seems the exterminations have been put on hold, some demons believe that they can get in good with Heaven and have a second chance. Charlie has been ecstatic about the new interest, and it's nice seeing her positivity reach others in the hotel.

I may fib a little and put down names of people I've 'recruited' even if they came in on their own accord. But this helps by making sure the hotel thinks I'm still performing my job duties while still going out and about doing other activities.

Ever since Alastor taught me how to harness demon souls and grow my power, I've sure been busy. I've lost count on how many demons I've devoured. I have to at least be in the hundreds by now. I wonder what the end game is here. Once I'm powerful enough, then what? What exactly do I need to be powerful enough for?

I easily lose track of time and end up back at the hotel in the late hours. When I look around it doesn't seem like there is anyone around. The lobby is empty, there is no one up on the balcony and the halls are quiet. I'm surprised we don't have any night owls in the hotel.

My fox ear twitches from the sound of voices at the bar. Husk must be serving someone who's still awake. As I make my way over, I realize Husk isn't serving. Husk is drinking... with Alastor.

The two of them have their backs to me and I'm not sure if they heard me come in. Curiosity is hitting me like a freight train, and I have this need to know what they're talking about. From where I'm standing all I can hear are the low murmurs of their voices.

I tiptoe a bit closer and round a corner to the nearest hallway, quietly sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. I tilt my head so that my ear is facing their direction. Will this work? Did they hear me?

"I'm not tearing up your contract, Husker." I hear Alastor's voice as he calmly sips his amber looking drink. Good, I can see and hear them from here and it doesn't seem like they notice I'm here!

"That's not the big ask I was referring to." Husk responds, refilling his glass with straight Burbon. He was always a heavy drinker. Alastor turns his head to look at Husk, waiting for him to continue.

"Set (y/n) free." Husk states as he turns to look at Alastor, the two men staring each other down.

Wait... what?

"And why would I do that?" Alastor responds with a laugh. "You told me so yourself. She's a shapeshifting con artist. Her skills have proven most useful for my needs." He explains, twirling his drink a little before taking another sip.

Husk growls and looks frustrated. "I know. But it's my fault she's in this predicament. She deserves better. She deserves to walk freely of her own accord. Not in fear." Husk seems upset as he thinks back at the day he lost that game with Alastor.

I wish I could intervene. I wish I could tell Husk that I'm not afraid anymore. He doesn't need to do this.

"Who said she was still afraid?" Alastor questions Husk, making him confused. "You have nothing to worry about, Husker." Alastor begins as he puts his drink on the counter, not looking at Husk anymore. "I'm making sure she's okay. That she's... happy. Strong. Protected. Provided for. Cared for." Alastor states many things. So many that I'm not even sure he realizes everything he's confessed... to Husk, none the less.

There are a few seconds of silence between the two. Husk seems taken aback by what Alastor just said. Alastor just seems lost in thought after his statement.

"You don't..." Husk starts, breaking the silence. Alastor doesn't look at him, but his ear twitches, proving he's listening. "You..." Husk seems to be struggling to get his question out. "Do you... love (y/n)?" He finally asks.

"No." Alastor answers a bit too quickly, still not looking at Husk. This doesn't pass by Husk. Even though I can't see their features too well from where I am, I can still see the smirk on Husk's face.

"Are you sure?" Husk questions Alastor's answer. This questioning is rewarded with a staticky growl and high-pitched radio frequency wave, making Husk's ears hug his head in discomfort. I can't help but do the same. The high pitch hits my ears even from where I'm sitting. Luckly, it doesn't last too long.

Alastor finally looks at Husk. It's obvious he's angry at the question. "I don't!" He argues back. It's not long before Alastor's face lightens up, a bit of confusion in his eyes as he picks his drink back up and takes another sip. "The only person I've ever loved was my mother. I don't feel the same way for (y/n) as I felt for her." Alastor calmly explains.

"Well, I would hope not." Husk laughs a little, getting another glare from Alastor. Husk puts his hands up in defense, shaking them slightly. "Sorry. Let me see if I can explain better." Husk starts off as he thinks it through. He snaps his fingers and looks back at Alastor.

"Tell me, what would you do if another demon came to the hotel in search of (y/n) with the goal of winning her favor? Wanting to get her attention, her laugh, hear her stories, know her secrets, maybe even become intima-" Before Husk could even finish the sentence the cup Alastor was holding shatters. The grip he had on the glass was too tight to stay intact. Something about the aura Alastor is giving off feels dangerous. Deadly, possibly.

I'm not comfortable with how calm Husk seems at this moment. I wish he wouldn't poke Alastor this much. I don't want Husk to get hurt.

"Uh huh." Husk calmly says as he stands up and heads behind the bar. I move my head back a bit, hoping he can't see me from where I am. Husk grabs another glass and pours Alastor another drink, sliding it to him as he wipes up the glass pieces from the previous glass.

"Can you handle one more tough thought scenario?" Husk asks Alastor. He doesn't get a verbal response, but he's not told no. Husk takes his chance. I know I'm nervous. I don't want Husk to push things too far.

"How would you feel if (y/n) came to the hotel and introduced you to her date? Her eyes are bright and smile wide. She's happier than she's ever been. What would that do to you?" He questions Alastor, cleaning up the last bit of leftover alcohol on the bar top.

There's silence between the two men for a good while. I can't see Alastor's face from this angle. Husk is patiently waiting to see if he'll say anything. I can see Alastor move his hand up to his chest. It looks like his hand might be resting over where his heart is, but I can't tell for sure from here.

"I..." Alastor starts but can't seem to get the rest of the words out. He picks up his new drink and slams the glass in one go. The empty glass makes a thud on the bar top, followed by a small laugh.

"Husker, I... I would cease to exist."  

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