Gus

Adult

Quinn's death angered me more than it should've.
I couldn't take in the fact that after a few years of being on the right track, I'm suddenly struck with this news. The poor guy hadn't even retired before he died.
But I decided to not let it get the best of me, as I've been through this type of situation several times before.
But, I also decided that not only did I need to start acting like an adult, but I needed to start living like one, too.
When I got home that day, I saw my mother on the couch with an empty wine glass in her hand. I walked in front of her and when she asked me to move so she could see the TV, I stayed put.
"Gus, can you not give me a hard time right now?"
"Mother, I'm moving out."
"Excuse me?" she lowered the glass in her hand.
"Mother, I have never felt safe living with you nor do I now. And I don't think you ever even cared about me more than you did for your drinking habits. I've made enough money from my job to afford a place of my own. I'm going to start looking at places to live tonight."
"So you're leaving me alone all of a sudden? After all I've done for you, how can you just take all your money and leave, Gus?"
I couldn't hold back anymore. "AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR ME? HOW ABOUT ALL YOU'VE DONE FOR YOURSELF? OH... I AM SO GLAD I AM GETTING OUT OF HERE, AND WHEN I DO, IT'LL BE AS FAR AWAY FROM YOU AS POSSIBLE!"
I took a deep breath, then continued.
"I MEAN, JUST LOOK AT YOURSELF, MOTHER! YOU'RE ROTTING YOURSELF AWAY EVERY DAY WITH THOSE GLASSES AND BOTTLES! AND YOU'VE NEVER STOPPED ONCE TO EVEN THINK OF ME! YOU MAY HAVE A JOB, BUT I AM THE ONE THAT'S REALLY KEEPING YOU ALIVE... AND I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH LONGER THAT'S GOING TO KEEP UP FOR!"
I stomped up to my bedroom and slammed the door shut. I packed all my things as my mother came into my room. I turned around and looked at her, expecting a long monologue about how sorry she was. She opened her mouth to speak, but said nothing and turned back around and went back downstairs.
"Coward!" I shouted after her.

**********
The small house I moved into was just a few blocks away from my mother. I hadn't kept my promise when I said I'd move far away from her. Despite that, I managed to keep the house in good condition and keep my life as normal as it had been.