Gus

Away

I'll have to admit, I was happy to be away from my mother for a while. But my grandparents weren't much better.

They never talked to me. My grandmother enjoyed cooking, gardening, going for walks, and staying silent. My grandfather enjoyed lying down, watching TV, sleeping, and staying silent. Even the two of them didn't really talk to each other. The only times I would hear their voices were where they fought over something silly or my grandmother was calling us to dinner. When we ate dinner, the only sounds that could be heard were the clenching of forks and knives on the fragile plates.

I slept in a tiny room. I didn't have a real bed; it was a sleeping bag with a dusty pillow grandfather got tired of using. There was no electricity in my room; the only light came from the window, but the blinds were mostly covering it. At night, I dreamed of having game nights with my grandparents, where we'd play games and dance and have fun. But those dreams were lucid to me; I knew they weren't ever going to happen.

********

"Gus, come in here for a minute! There's a letter for you!"
That was the most my grandmother ever said to me. Hearing that, I went into the main room and took the letter. I ripped it open and read it. My stomach dropped.
"What is it?" my grandmother asked me.
"It says my mom can't be with me anymore," I said, "and that she's being put into a re...hab...bilitaaa...."
"Rehabilitation center?"
"Yeah, I think."
"Of course," grandmother mumbled either to herself to me, "that bitch is always getting herself into trouble. And now, with a kid, she still can't keep herself together? God, she disgusts me."
I didn't respond. I silently walked to my room thing with the letter in hand. I stuck the letter into the warn out drawer near the door and plopped into my bag. I wanted to feel sad, but I just... couldn't. I actually had a sense of relief that my mother was away from me, being taken care of. I thought awhile and then went back into the main room and asked my grandmother where I was going to be living from now on.
"Here, I guess," she said.

Crap. I didn't want to live here forever. It already felt like prison here.

I decided to deal with the situation, just like I had with the previous 6 years of my life. However, eight months later, grandfather died. My grandmother buried him in her backyard near her garden. I thought that was a little strange and sickening, but I had no business to judge my grandma.
One day, some time after my grandfather's death and my 7th birthday, I decided to help my grandmother out with her garden. I found some tools in her closet and propped myself down to the backyard. I put a forced smile on my face and walked up to my grandma. I told her I wanted to help, but in response I got a cold stare.
"Why do you wanna help me?" she asked.
"I dunno... I feel like we never talk or do things together. I wanted to do something with you, grandmother. You have really nice flowers..." I walked over to her garden and bent down to touch the roses she had planted. My grandmother grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly.
"Don't you touch my flowers, hear? From now on you are to stay way from this garden!"
"But grandmother, I..."
My grandmother's other hand gave a good slap to my face.
"Don't talk back to me! Now go to your room and don't come back!"
I tore her grip off my arm and ran into the house. As I was running, I could hear her mumbling to herself, but I couldn't make out a word she was saying.