In a world where pain is a shared experience, two souls find themselves opposite sides of the divide. One seeks an escape, the other clings to hope. The lives of these two strangers collide, sparking unfore anseen connection. Will the journey ahead...
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I sat at the edge of the bed and found myself staring into the darkness. My phone was turned off and my mind was focused. Zola had been blowing me up since this morning but I was not at liberty to answer. Part of me had been in complete denial about what I've heard today. Then there was the other part of me that had been reminded of my mother's constant warnings about the kind of woman I was getting myself involved with. Though I wasn't the kind of man to past judgement, I tried to love Zola beyond what people would say about her.
As a man of integrity, I had to do something, I had to move on from what was and live in the present. Deciding to turn in for the night, I needed to get some much needed rest before turning back to my current reality. There wasn't a need to run from my problems, instead I needed to face them head on and stand on my own two feet.
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐
"You trying to sneak out to avoid telling your mama goodbye and without telling me why you're really here?" My mother startled me.
I did my best to wake up before she did, yet there she stood with her hand on her hip wide away drinking a cup of hot coffee. My mother was always an early riser but I didn't know she would be up at five in the morning.
"Good morning ma, sorry. I didn't want to wake you." I half told the truth. In all honesty, I didn't want to tell her about my failing relationship. I didn't want to admit to her that my relationship fell apart because of me. I prided myself in being a good man, maybe I thought wrong about things this entire time.
I guess it was true that the cars, the mansion and the Jimmy Choo's meant nothing if I wasn't there physically. I could go on and on about how much this was all my fault. However it wasn't something I was ready to admit to my mother.
"Ummhmm. You know I know you better than yourself, I know you have something on your mind that you're not telling me. But I get it, you're not ready to. But look here, I packed you some goodies for the road. When you're ready to talk, mama is right here for you sugar." My mother gave me the most wholesome hug.
Her mature perfume filled my nose as she pulled me into her arms. My mother's love always made me feel a little better. The burn I felt in my heart couldn't face what was waiting for me back in New York. Time couldn't wait any longer and I needed the dust to settle.
𝑨𝒎𝒊𝒓
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I paced back and forth between the kitchen and the living room. The street lights from outside shined into the darkness that covered the entire place. High off of whatever pill I could get my hands on made me every bit of paranoid. Every single time I'd hear the sound of keys jiggling, I'd run to the door in hopes of seeing Maya coming back.
She was gone, took every single thing she owned except her wedding ring. Her scent still lingered throughout the old rinky dink apartment. The wooden floors creaked with each step I took. And the sounds of the wind from outside hit the window. For the first time in years I was alone. Missing the person who loved me for who I was and not some bullshit football career.
"Fuck!" I screamed punching a hole into the thin wall.
Just like most men reality was setting in and I was starting to realize what I had lost. The games, the manipulation, the infidelity and the drug use caught up to me at once. My life had fallen apart before but Maya had always been there to pick up the pieces and put me back together. Now I was stuck figuring it out on my own.
I knew I was a sad excuse of a man. I know that a man like myself didn't deserve someone as loving as Maya Guzman. Her heart was pure and filled with love, however over the years I've abused my access to her. Took her for granted and always looked for a flaw in her every move.
Yet I was the one with all the flaws and all the faults no one, not even Maya could change. Being a better man started with me pulling my head out of my ass and getting my own shit together. Jumping at the sudden sound of my phone ringing, I darted over to the kitchen table. It was Zola, another woman I've found myself attached to. Though she was every bit of beautiful, she was no Maya.
We met a couple years back through my cousin Tae, who was also Maya's best friend. Tae was Zola's hairstylist and a friend as well. Yes it's all a fucked up love triangle and yes Tae did play a part in my fucked up cheating ways. As angry as I could be and as stubborn as I stood, there was nothing I could do to win her back. I've earned my spot in this miserable life, nothing good came from hurting someone you loved.
I couldn't admit to anyone the pain I felt deep down in myself, having to find myself again. Then again, it was only a matter of time before my world would coming crashing. There wasn't anyone I could be upset with but myself.
"Amir what the fuck I've been calling you all day, look I need to see you right now. I think he knows."
