In a world where pain is a shared experience, two souls find themselves opposite sides of the divide. One seeks an escape, the other clings to hope. The lives of these two strangers collide, sparking unfore anseen connection. Will the journey ahead...
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"So, you didn't see me blowing up your phone? What the fuck—." I paused. In all honesty there was nothing I could actually say at this moment to make Malakai understand my frustration. The apology was pointless and the tears would mean nothing.
In all the years I've spent with him, I knew when I had been caught up in some shit. There was a side of me that was ready for his wrath, ready to be defeated and called out on my non dismissive behavior.
"How long?" He sat on the chaise sectional and asked with ill disappointment. There was an answer to his eerie question yet no words came from my mouth. Tears fell from beneath my eyes and hit the warm carpet that occupied my toes. Not knowing what to say, I looked into the eyes of the man who loved every part of me even though the world had been against it.
"I'm not gone ask you again Zola, how long?" Even in anger he kept his cool. Kept his composure, never giving into his emotions. He simply wanted answers that I desperately wish I didn't need to give him. With a straight face, he stood to his feet and closed in on me and left me to my lonesome tears.
"Kai—please. Just give me a minute, I will answer your question. I just really need a minute—please?" He stopped in his footsteps and leaned against the lavender painted wall. Gathering myself out of the unreal somber feeling. My pride was pushed aside and I thought of a million and one things to say to not make him hate me. Which I had been almost entirely convinced I was too late.
"There's nothing I can say at this very moment to make you understand why I did what I did. Either way I put it, I was wrong. There isn't an excuse or an apology that could make things better between us. And if I'm being honest Kai, we haven't been the same for years. Each year you told me the long hours would get better, they didn't. Each year you tell me you will be more present in our relationship, you don't. Yes, I found myself in the arms of another man. And for that I'm sorry. I know I fucked up and I won't be able to take any of it back but this is a reality I'm stuck in. Am I unsure if the baby is yours? Yes. Would I like to be a hundred percent sure? Yes. But I would be lying to myself. I'm sorry Kai. I'm so sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for stepping out on us. You're a good man and deserve so much better than what I can give you." I cried.
My heart felt as if it were trying to beat outside of my chest. My skin was clammy and my soul felt weak. The hurt in his eyes spoke to me more than his words. Without saying anything, he walked away and disappeared into the next room. "Kai!" I called out to him but no response. I hated myself for the damage I've done to my relationship but I knew deep down inside that it was only a matter of time before shit came crashing down.
"You want to cheat? Cool but you not doing that shit in my house. You know what? From the day I met you, I've done nothing but love you. Ignore all the negative things people said about you and still I wanted you. Each day I wake up, I'm still in awe of you. Every time I've wanted to give up, I stared at your beautiful picture and when you told me you were pregnant. It gave me all the more reason to keep going, just to find out it was all a lie. I'm done with you Zola, I'll transfer some money into your account so you'll be good until you get on your feet. But as for us, we're done. And if that child turns out to be mine, I'll be the best father ever." He went back to placing my items into black garbage bags.
Never seeing Kai in such an angry state. I vowed not to utter another word and simply accept my own fate. After all it was my own choices that caused all of this. But the urgent thought of Kai ever finding another love haunted me. Imaging another woman lying in my spot made me angry at myself for fucking up. I hated myself at this very moment as I watched him snatch purses, shoes and blouses off of the rack and place them into trash bags. This was it, there was no turning back and no coming back from the damage I've caused.
𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒂
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Another day, another dollar as many would say. My shift had been going by slowly as I impatiently watched the clock and waited for three o'clock to strike. The hospital wasn't as busy today as it was most days. Trust me I'm not mad at it, but all I could think about was going home and cooking me up something to eat.
"Is Maya Guzman here?" I could hear a familiar voice asking in the distance. It couldn't be.
Sure enough it could. Amir was directed over to where I had been sitting catching up on tons of patient charting. He carried a bouquet of flowers and a Starbucks frappe. Does this fool really think he can win me over with five dollar flowers and a six dollar drink? "How may I assist you today?" I asked him as if he were one of my patients.
Slightly ignoring the kind gesture he presented, I stayed professional and continued typing on my computer. "Maya, could you please stop for one minute and talk to me? I'm still technically your husband, our divorce isn't final yet." He preached some bullshit.
Pausing for a second, I looked into his sorry eyes and waited for him to tell me something I haven't heard before. "Outside? You want to have all these folks up in our business?" He made a point.
Locking up my chart records, I informed my supervisor I would be stepping away for a fifteen minute break.
"So?" I crossed my arms because I knew what was coming. I knew Amir like the back of my hand, it's like I knew what he would say before he would even say it.
"I came here to apologize. I know I'm fucked up and I got a lot of fixing to do. There isn't much I could say right now that would allow you to forgive me. But I'm fucked up without you Maya. Like life without you isn't worth living anymore. I can't eat, sleep or anything, this is taking a toll on me. Yes, I know it's fucked up and it took for you to leave me to make me realize that, what I had with you was all I needed. You are everything to me Maya and I mean that. Please just give me another chance to prove myself. Please baby, if it's not too late." Faux tears fell from his eyes.
Each word he spoke had no effect whatsoever. When a woman was fed up, that was it. Not a flower, a ring or a piece of stale ass chocolate could make her forgive you. The world could be burning and she wouldn't even look at you to save her. A smirk slathered across my face and I simply walked back into the hospital to finish the last thirty minutes of my shift. Leaving him to his own tears and heart of lies.
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whew baby, Malakai is done. Maya is done, what will their new lives look like now? 👀
