Acrasia [t.r]

𝐗. 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

  Alice's tears subsided after a short while, intense embarrassment taking over her sadness. She found herself thinking about the promise she'd made to herself to have more fun. And here she was crying in her professor's lap. She quickly pulled away from him, feverishly wiping her tears away.

  Her mother was alive. She should be happy. She is doing an important task, bigger than Alice or herself, of course she doesn't have time to be pen pals. Alice has friends here, and academic support. She should be happy. A multitude of things to be grateful for. She should be sitting here relieved, not upset.

  Then an idea suddenly popped into her head. Probably a very bad idea. Alice picked up the bottle of vodka she'd abandoned on the floor along with the letter. It was still three quarters full. She twisted the cap and drank. Then, she offered it to her professor.

  Her eyes twinkled with danger and mischief, or perhaps it was just haziness from her previous drinks. Either way Professor Riddle was far more tempted than he knew he should be. Of course this was a bad idea, but something about the way Alice was looking at him, something about the way her cheeks were stained with tears not less than five minutes ago, made him want to give in. If he was careful, nothing would go wrong. And there was no chance Alice would open up to him unless she believed him to be inebriated too.

  He attempted to give Alice a reproachful glance, but he could tell she was unconvinced. "Alice," He said in a warning teacher voice—he had to at least give the illusion of disapprobation. "How old are you?" He asked, knowing the answer, "Not old enough to have bought that bottle legally I'd wager."

  Alice ignored his façade of disapproval, "My birthday is soon actually, in three weeks time." She gestured for him to take the bottle again. He did. Then after a contemplative pause. "You're the first person here I've said that to."

  "Why haven't you mentioned it to your friends?" Riddle asked honestly, taking a tentative sip.

  "Because that'll make everything feel real. I'll have to accept I've been here for two months and that I won't be leaving anytime soon. My life won't be going back to normal anytime soon." Alice fiddled with a loose thread on the hem of her skirt.

  "Is that how you feel?" Riddle was watching her as if she were a puzzle he was trying to piece together, a code he was trying to decipher. "Like you've just been waiting for things to go back to normal?"

  "Well what would you do," Alice threw her hands up in exasperation, reaching for the bottle again. "Burying my head in the sand has got to be easier than accepting reality."

  "Please, don't let me stop you." Riddle said, his words punctuated with a light chuckle. "But you might find that if you can accept reality, you might make things more tolerable for yourself. I don't know, but I'm sure it's not easy waking up and waiting for the unforeseeable day that everything goes back to the way it was. Which, unfortunately, I doubt will ever happen."

  "What do you mean it will never happen?" She asked sharply, turning to face him, surprised to find him already looking at her. Alice felt her cheeks warm, she told herself it was the alcohol.

  "I mean that eventually if your mother comes back and you move back to France, life won't simply continue as it used to be, unchanged. You'll be different, as will she."

  "Hmm." She mulled his words over carefully in her mind. She knew there was wisdom in them, but it was easier said than done to 'accept reality' and simply just settle in.

  Alice had gone quiet in thought and Riddle sensed she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He changed the subject. "How's the party anyway?"

  That jolted Alice out of her thinking. She was positive she hadn't mentioned a party in their conversation, and as a professor and their Head of House she was sure he should be the last person she should tell. She flicked her gaze to him, attempting to read the expression behind his eyes, but he was as calm as ever, staring placidly at the wall opposite them. "How do you..." Alice trailed off, not wanting to say something wrong and give the party away.