Quantum Entanglement ~ Tamber

Chapter 19

She didn't have time to examine just how fucked her situation was. She had two demons behind her gaining on her quickly, a giant hissing beast at the top waiting for her, and a massive wall to climb using just her nails. She had no fucking clue how she would make it through any of this. There was only so much that thinking of Tara could help her accomplish. If she fell to even one of these obstacles, she knew she'd fuck up past Amber's life pretty bad. She allowed herself a brief second to imagine the Amber of a year ago going postal for no apparent reason if she failed, a thought that at least made her giggle.

Fuck it. She'd take down the two at the bottom, and it would be fine, right? Judy and Dewey could stay alive. She didn't care about killing them for some shitty movie anymore. She didn't feel the excitement of doing the honors of finishing them off or going down in history forever for downing two legends. She didn't really even give a fuck about the shitty Stab movies that much if she was being honest. Sure, she'd written fanfics of Sidney and Tatum scissoring while Billy cried in the corner, but pretty much everyone in the fandom did that. Killing two has-beens and feeling any kind of joy because of shitty movies and some praise from a predator just didn't seem as appealing anymore now that she was burning in hell for it. If she could take it all back – take back the temporary excitement it gave her in exchange for saving Tara's life – she would without hesitation.

"I don't want to kill them," she yelled out, hoping it might make a difference to some sky genie above. Or maybe to the devil himself.

And she really didn't want to kill them, not anymore. She wanted to kill one person, and that was Richie. She wanted to get revenge on him for ever managing to convince her that hurting the only person she cared about could ever be a good idea. She wanted to take back her innocence – what he stole from her the moment he burrowed into her brain and caused an infestation of doubt and anger.

Most of all, she wanted to avenge Tara. Before all this, she had been the happiest girl she'd ever seen – so kind and trusting. She and Richie had taken that away from her. Amber was suffering now, but it was nothing in comparison to how she planned to make the boy hurt for the rest of his eternity.

"I don't want to kill those stupid fucks," she repeated, screaming with more conviction this time.

The beasts stopped dead in their tracks, staring at her and tilting their heads like tiny puppies. At first, she felt like she had cracked the code. But when she turned to leave, she was met with something unexpected – something that made her stop dead in her tracks, too. Standing behind her at the top of the wall was the one thing that could save her and the one thing she wanted desperately to save: Tara Carpenter.

Her jaw fell open, and she felt her heart leap up to her throat. The words were caught there, and it felt like she was holding her breath. She was scared that if she dared release it or blinked, the figment in front of her would disappear.

Was that really her? Could it be?

But then she panicked. No, Tara wasn't supposed to be here. She whirled around, trying desperately to see the screens, but they were nowhere. Had they both failed? Was Tara here in hell with her?

No, it couldn't be. She wouldn't accept that reality. Tara didn't deserve to be there with her; she deserved heaven – she deserved life and all the beauty it had to offer. She couldn't be here. Amber wouldn't let her be.

Hands shaking and tears spilling over on to her cheek for the first time since she'd gotten there, she approached the wall separating her from the girl she loved. The demons didn't follow as she started her climb, gripping on to whatever rock she could and clinging on with the tips of her nails. She fell several times and forced herself to get back up, trying desperately to bury the frustration. She couldn't let Tara see her like that. She had to show her she was different, that she was sorry. What seemed to finally work for her was allowing herself to stare into the big, dark, doe eyes of the girl she loved – eyes she never thought she'd get to look into again. It grounded her. It was just some pain. It would fade. It was just a little pain. She could do it for her.