Lifeline (Marc Guiu)

Chapter 14

But despite the well intentioned advice from their loved ones, neither Alicia nor Marc knew what to do. They were afraid of talking to each other again. Of making the wound worse with hurtful words the actually didn't mean to say. But they also missed each other more than they ever expected to.

Alicia didn't want to become the cliché heartbroken girl who ate ice cream and listened to sad love songs but if people did it, it was for a reason. Because they wanted to cry listening to the songs and they wanted to try and numb the pain by eating the ice cream. It was a solid plan.

She was listening to Taylor Swift and Post Malone signing about how loving someone was ruining their lives and that made her cry. Because the expression fortnight felt so perfect for her relationship with Marc. A short period of time. Not two weeks but longer in their case. But it also had felt like only two days. Two days of fully being happy that were now over...

However, there was no time to stay home feeling sorry for herself all the time. Especially on Friday, when Alicia was supposed to spend the afternoon with her grandma. She was actually looking forward to it. Her grandma thought she wouldn't be good company for a young girl but it was Alicia who now felt like terrible company because of how miserable she felt.

"So what's making you so sad, sweetheart?"

"I'm not sad", lied Alicia, as if she could fool her grandma.

"You are. And you weren't on Saturday when I last saw you. I know you young people change your mood very often but this is a lot of difference for less than a week".

"Do you promise not to tell mum and dad?"

Alicia's grandma smiled. She had always been good at keeping secrets. "You know you can trust me".

"I was kind of seeing this guy and he just got tired of me being an idiot, I guess".

"How are you an idiot?"

"You know everything that happened with Vicky and her boyfriend, right?", her grandma nodded. "Well, the guy I like is friends with Fermín. Fermín is Vicky's boyfriend. And I met him while they were separated and suffering so much so I didn't want to tell Vicky. Like, I didn't want to show how much fun I had with a boy when she couldn't see the one she loved".

"That was nice of you to do that. But she's happy now with her boy, right?"

"She is. But I still kept it a secret that I was seeing Marc", Alicia winced, realising she didn't want to say names. "Marc is the boy I'm talking about".

"I guessed", laughed her grandma.

"Yeah. Uhh...it was just casual, you know? Or it was supposed to be casual".

"We didn't do casual in my time but I can guess what you mean. The least I know the better, though".
"Sure. Well, it was casual. And we were friends above all that. But...he got tired of me refusing to tell people about us".

"That makes it sound like he really likes you. If he wants to make things more official and not hide your relationship".

"There's no relationship", said Alicia but her grandma shook her head.

"If you say so...".

Alicia didn't want to admit it but her grandma was right. There had been a relationship between Alicia and Marc. Maybe not a romantic one. Not fully. But their friendship seemed so strong. And there were other feelings they had tiptoed around. They hid them behind the casual sex but they knew they were there. They were both just too afraid to face them.

"I don't know what to do. I hurt him but I don't know how to apologize. I don't fully understand how much I hurt him and...maybe this was a sign that what we were doing was wrong?"

"It could have been wrong. You're young and experimenting. Again, not what we used to do when I was your age but I get it's how things work now".

"Yeah".

"But Ali...I saw the way you looked last week. Even if you were feeling bad about missing my visit".

"Sorry about that", interrupted Alicia, still feeling bad about it.

"Oh honey, I lost track of time many times when your grandad was courting me. But the glow in your face...you looked happy. Very happy. And it was because of that boy".

"Well...that's gone now".

"Maybe it is or maybe it isn't. Don't lose hope just yet".

When Alicia made her way back home, she checked her texts and saw the ones Victoria had sent her. She was still worried about finding her alone in her room crying and Alicia wanted to tell her everything but telling her grandma had already been so hard. And Victoria would try to get her back with Marc. She might even try to involve Fermín in the process and it wasn't like Alicia wouldn't appreciate the effort but...it wasn't what she needed. Or what Marc needed.

The issue was that she didn't know what they needed either.

"How was grandma?", was what her mum asked when Alicia got inside the house.

"She was fine. We had a good time".

"And how are you?"

"Me?"

"Yes. You, Ali. I'm sorry if we were too harsh with you after you missed grandma's visit but you really messed up there".

Alicia looked at her mum, trying not to cry. "It's not that. I get why you were mad. I was mad at myself too".

"Is it the boy?"

Alicia just stared at her mum. But it made sense in a way. If her dad had guessed Alicia was seeing someone, her mum could have too. Or her dad could have told her.

"There is no boy, mum", she said, trying to leave before whispering. "Not anymore".

"Ali, you can talk to me. Don't be like Vicky. No one is stopping you from dating a boy here".

"There is no boy!"

"Honey", her mum took Alicia's hand. "I don't want you ending up like Vicky did. Especially since it runs in the family".

It...depression. Alicia would need a psychologist to tell her whether depression could truly be inherited like her mum suggested. Or maybe they just happened to be a family with many members that went through that at least once in their lives.

"I'm fine".

Alicia couldn't avoid answering Victoria anymore once she was back home and when she texted back that she was fine, Victoria facetimed her.

"Hey Vicky".

"You won't believe what Fermín did!"