boy of my dreams- JESS MARIANO

Chapter 4

The next day was a blur of misery. I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept at all, my eyes puffy and red from crying. I dragged myself out of bed, the energy it took to even move making everything feel ten times heavier. I grabbed a white sweater with a small heart stitched on the front and paired it with my dark blue wide-leg jeans. I slipped on my old, beat-up red Converse and sighed at my reflection in the mirror.

My hair was a mess, so I brushed it back into a low bun. I added a quick swipe of mascara, some blush to hide the paleness of my cheeks, and chapstick to keep my lips from looking too chapped. *Good enough,* I thought, feeling too drained to put in any more effort. I ignored the breakfast my mom had left on the table and headed straight out the door, hoping the day would pass by as quickly as possible.

The bus was already waiting when I reached the stop. I climbed on, keeping my eyes on the floor as I made my way to an empty seat near the middle. I pulled out my phone and plugged in my headphones, putting on some music to drown out the world. Leaning my head against the cool window, I closed my eyes, letting the melody fill my mind and distract me from the pain lingering in my chest.

The bus rumbled along, and for a moment, it was just me and the music, the rhythm carrying me somewhere far from here. I was so lost in the beat that I didn't notice someone approaching until I felt a weight dip into the seat beside me. I turned, eyes widening in surprise.

It was Jess.

"Hey," he said quietly, his voice cutting through the music in my ears. I quickly pulled out one of my headphones, my heart suddenly racing. He looked at me with an expression I couldn't quite read, like he was unsure of what to say but felt like he needed to be there.

"Hey," I mumbled back, my gaze darting to the floor. I tried to focus on the music still playing softly in one ear, but his presence was too overwhelming. *Why is he sitting here?*

He shifted slightly, looking straight ahead for a moment before turning back to me. "You doing okay?" he asked, his tone soft, almost hesitant.

I swallowed hard, trying to keep my emotions in check. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lied, my voice barely above a whisper. I kept my eyes on the window, hoping he wouldn't push further.

Jess didn't say anything for a long moment. He just sat there, and I could feel him glancing at me every now and then. I bit my lip, willing myself to stay calm, to not let the hurt show. But it was so hard with him sitting right there, so close, and yet so far away in every other way that mattered.

"Okay," he finally replied, his voice sounding resigned. "Just... you know, I'm here if you need to talk."

I nodded, unable to trust my voice not to crack. I glanced at him briefly, and the look in his eyes made my heart ache all over again. It was like he genuinely cared, but not in the way I wished he would. I turned back to the window, blinking back the tears that threatened to spill over.

"Thanks," I managed to say, my voice wavering slightly. Jess didn't say anything else, and we rode the rest of the way to school in silence, the music in my ear becoming a strange comfort.

As the bus slowed to a stop in front of the school, he stood up and hesitated for a second, looking like he wanted to say more. But he didn't. He just nodded at me before stepping off the bus, leaving me to gather my things and follow behind, my heart heavier than ever.

As I stepped off the bus, I spotted Evelina waiting near the school entrance. She waved excitedly. "Hey!" she called out, her smile bright as ever.

"Hello, Evelina," I replied, managing a small, tired smile. I appreciated her being here; seeing a friendly face made this miserable morning just a little better. But just as I was about to ask how her morning was, my eyes caught sight of Jess walking past us, his hands shoved into his jacket pockets, looking as effortlessly cool as always. My chest tightened, and I quickly looked away.