Not Us: Cash & Devin

Chapter 26

Cash's POV

Drew had arrived bringing a blanket and a big bucket that said 'POPCORN' on the side and it was filled with popcorn seasoning and movie theater candy boxes. She was ready. She smiled at me as I opened the door.

"Welcome, Drew. The living room is set up for movie night. We've also ordered a pizza and some Chinese that will be here soon."

"Thank you, Mr. Johnston," she said, looking around, checking out the apartment that had bean bags, pillows, blankets, and cushions from Devin's couch on the floor in front of the TV. Calen was coming out of his room, looking down at his shirt.

"Cash do you think this shirt makes—" he looked up and saw Drew and his face blushed instantly. He looked away quickly and rubbed the back of his neck, deciding this was what he was wearing the shirt regardless. He cleared his throat like I did when I was nervous. This kid really did take after me.

"H-hey Drew. Whatcha got?" he smiled as he asked, coming over and checking out the giant popcorn bucket she held in her arms. She smiled back at him, and I think I saw a bit of 'like' in her eyes when he was all embarrassed. They'd be cute. Wait. Does this mean I have to talk the birds and the bees with him? Does he know? Shit. Condoms. I'm gonna need to tell him about that too. Oh fuck this was about to be weird.

No. I can do this. I turned to give them some privacy, and Devin looked up at me and hugged me. My arms wrapped around her, not knowing how much I needed her touch to ground me before I really started to freak out with the questions and the awkward talk I was going to have, regardless if he's had it before. Kid needs to know and he needs to know from someone who's been through it and can be honest with him.

Shit. Devin smiles at me, this easy, lazy, happy grin, that somehow comforts me like she was already thinking the same thing. It made me feel good knowing she was right there with me with the spiraling thoughts of what we'd need to teach him. Thank god I had her to share this with. And the thought occurred to me. I want this. Every day. I feel myself go rigid at the thought. I want all of this. I want these little moments. This fun I have with both of these people. I want this forever. I looked into her eyes as they filled with worry and I let myself feel every bit of love that way filling me up. I felt my mouth tip up into one of the biggest smiles I've ever given.

This is love. This is what I want.

Holy shit.

"Can I dance with you?" Where did that come from?

She smiled, and giggled at me, "Right now? Right here?"

I turned and saw the kids going and looking through the movies on all the subscriptions I had. I nodded my head and looked back at her. "Yes. There's a song I need to dance with you to, if you don't mind?" She just smiled and nodded at me as I connected my phone to the Bluetooth speaker I had in the kitchen. I played "Wind Up Missin' You" by Tucker Wetmore, wrapped an arm around her, and held her other hand. I smiled at her and started singing to her. I knew I didn't have Johnny Cash's voice, but I gave my damnedest as I sang the chorus to her.

'You look like waves on a sunset

And you can crash on me all night

And you look like wine in a truck bed

A little what I'm doing for the rest of my life 'cause

You look like I'm done looking

But, girl, the hard truth is

If this night don't turn into two

You look like I'm gonna wind up missin' you.'

I leaned down and kissed her. It was sweet, gentle, loving. I didn't push it because, while I was lost in my own little bubble with her, I knew that the kids were still close and could see. This was not the time to show her how much I loved her. That will come tonight when I can worship every inch of her.

God I fucking love her.

She looked up at me and just smiled, tears filling her eyes. "I love you too," she whispered so quietly I thought I imagined it until the first tear fell from her cheek.

Devin POV

This man...he's my person. He's mine. He's who I've been waiting for. I don't know how the fuck I know this, it's just this bone-deep feeling. Something that I can feel in every fiber of my being. He was made for me. Not Caleb. If this man did to me...what Caleb did...my heart physically hurts from the thought of it. I know I'd truly never be the same. I'd never be whole. The thought both warms and terrifies me at the same time.

I love this man. I trust him completely. It hadn't even been that long since we got together, but when I saw the concern and then shocked looks that had crossed his face after seeing Drew blush knowing that she made Calen blush. I knew. I just knew he'd give me everything I wanted. Whether it was a house out of the city, kids, a penthouse...I don't think it would matter. He would get it for me, and he'd do it happily for me and me alone.

He truly loves me. He's my future.

And he might be coming with Calen as a package deal.

The thought makes me smile and feel so warm and fuzzy that I can't explain it. I don't know how to describe just how wonderful the thought of coming to these two is. It feels so good in my heart that it feels like it's swollen and about to explode with love. The flutters in my stomach tell me this is a good thing. Yet, I think the still wounded part of my heart and my whole head is telling me to take it slow. Make sure that it's really what I want, and the other shoe won't drop.

That is still part of me.

I don't even know what movie we watched. I was so deep in thought that I didn't remember the movie at all.

"You okay, love?" He asked me as the credits rolled with the kids were fast asleep on the cushions on the floor. I nodded. Not entirely sure why I wasn't. "Okay. Now, let's be honest. You're too tense for this to be okay. What's going on in that head?" He asked.

"Can we talk in your room?" I whispered, not wanting to wake them. I sat up and disentangled myself from him as he sat up and got up. He held his hand out for me. I took it and he helped me up. As quietly as we could, we walked to his room.

He held the door open for me. He followed me in and quietly shut and locked the door. His hands were still behind him as he hung his head taking a deep breath. He looked up at me, his face dark with frustration and lust. I know he wanted to go much further than we did in the kitchen. He must have noticed something because he smirked at me. "Tell me, love. What's making you feel the need to lie to me?"

"I love you. But I'm still hesitant." I had to be honest with him. I had to share my fears because if I didn't, it could ruin everything before it began. He nodded his head like it was a perfectly reasonable thing to say about the man you're in love with.

"I can understand that given everything that fucker put you through," His expression darkened in anger as he mumbled about Caleb being lucky he's a dad or disappearing. I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him. We were having a good conversation. I wanted that back. I pulled away, my head pressed to his. I looked into his eyes as I ran my thumbs over his face, trying to calm him down.

"Now why'd you stop a thing like that?" He smirked, his eyes closed enjoying the feel of me rubbing his face. I felt him smile. His mouth moved into the biggest smile.

"I need to get this conversation back on track. I love you. But I'm still hesitant. And you said,"

"I understand after what he did to you," I nodded. He smiled back at me. Love filled his eyes as he continued, "But I'll spend every day for the rest of my life showing you just how much you mean to me. I'll never let you question me, and I will always listen to the things you tell me. I will put you above everyone else and protect your heart, like the most perfect treasure it is."

Tears were rolling down my cheeks, as he kissed me.

"Please. Let me show you Devin. Every day. From now until forever."

"Yes," was all I whispered out as he kissed me again. That night, we made love. Deep and slow, worshiping each other like we always should.

We worshipped each other quietly, in our own little bubble over and over again into the wee hours of the morning.