Love Letters From Harlem

3. Human Nature, Right?

 𝘼𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙖

"I don't know where to start," Marcus confessed.

A few hours had passed. Alicia had napped, showered, and cooked... though she didn't have much appetite. They had just finished eating barbecued drumsticks, mashed potatoes, and asparagus. While Marcus sat on one end of the couch, Corona in hand, Alicia was on the other sipping a glass of Port. The TV was on Scandal, the last show Alicia had started to binge on Hulu, but neither of them was paying it much attention.

"The beginning is always a good place to start," Alicia stated softly.

Surprisingly, she felt soft and safe with her father and hadn't felt that way in a while.

"Okay, but before I begin, I promise you will hear me out completely before you talk. Listen to receive and understand, not reply."

That request began to unnerve Alicia, but it also made her want to know more.

"I promise."

Nodding, Marcus took a long swig of his beer before setting it on the small table next to the couch.

"Before you were born, Dahlia and I tried to have a baby for years. It put a huge strain on our marriage. I cheated and the woman got pregnant. Upon learning this, I decided to divorce Dahlia. It felt selfish to ask her to stay with me while I raised my baby with someone else, knowing how desperately she wanted a child herself." He paused and took in a deep breath. "I was honest with Dahlia, and she agreed to the divorce. We didn't want to part ways, but I didn't want my selfish choice to make us both suffer for the rest of our lives." Marcus squeezed the back of his neck and looked away briefly. "Unfortunately, Jacqueline died while giving birth to our child. When Dahlia found out, she came back to me and offered to help. Eventually, we decided to get back together and agreed that Dahlia would raise the baby as her own."

As his confession began to loop around in her mind, Alicia's heart raced.

"Are you saying Dahlia is not my birth mother? That the woman who gave birth to me died?"

"Yes, baby girl. That's exactly what I'm saying."

"Wow," she muttered, chuckling nervously.

Her leg began to shake as she stared into the distance. Marcus continued.

"We didn't think she would have a child, so when she had Alexis, it was like a miracle. I can admit that she treated her differently because she'd given birth to her. With Alexis, you became just a reminder of my infidelity. With Alexis, Dahlia began to act as if she didn't need you anymore. I called her out on it and reminded her she promised to treat you as if you were her child, and she would always throw me cheating up in my face. I felt bad about breaking our vows and hurting her, so when we had those fights, I'd often give in and let her have her way."

"Why are you telling me this now?"

"Because I convinced myself that you were too young to notice that she treated you differently. I was in denial, telling myself that acting out had nothing to do with it. After the things you said today, I couldn't hold the truth back any longer. I knew it would free you from the way you were treated. You didn't deserve that, at all, and I'm so sorry I didn't protect you better."

All she could do was nod. When she learned the truth about Alexis and Xavier, Alicia didn't think things could get any worse. Now... that was a lie.

"Lily," Marcus called softly. "How do you feel?"

Her eyes blinked rapidly. Body heavy, she slowly turned her head in his direction.

"Tired. Can you go? I just really want to sleep."

"Yes, of course. But..."

"Please, Daddy," she whispered through trembling lips as her eyes watered. "Please go."

Marcus stood and made his way over to her side of the couch. He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, then told her he loved her and was only a call away. She couldn't even force her head to nod or her mouth to reply. As her tears streamed, Alicia laughed. All this time, everyone tried to make her feel as if she was losing her mind. She knew things had changed when Alexis was born and that her parents, especially her mother, treated her differently. For twenty-one years, she'd dealt with this cycle and believed she was the one insane, only to learn her parent's deceit was the cause of her pain.

Standing, Alicia slowly made her way to her bedroom. She closed the shades before plopping down on her bed, face down. Alicia thought she'd cry even harder, but as she lay there, all she could do was laugh.

💜💜💜

Alicia missed her flight, and at that point, she didn't even care. Before learning the truth, Alicia was prepared to leave Memphis and start anew. But for the past three days, she'd been home in her room with her thoughts. The only reason she shared the truth with her friends was because she didn't want them worried about her. Marcus told Dahlia that she knew the truth because Dahlia had been calling and stopping by every day. Every day, Alicia told her the same thing—she didn't want anything to do with her when Alexis was born, and now that was about to happen.

Twice that day, Alicia tried to eat, but she didn't have the energy. She didn't have the energy to do anything for that matter. Unlike Xavier and Alexis's betrayal, this one seemed to have left her paralyzed. As if she'd thought him up, Xavier called her from his mother's phone. On the day of the wedding, she'd blocked him on everything but overlooked his parents' numbers.

"What?" she answered, surprised to hear her voice.

"I was just calling to check on you."

She chuckled and turned onto her side in bed. "I don't have the strength to stomach your faux concern."

"Whether you want to believe it or not, I do love and care about you."

Sighing, Alicia breathed deeply. "I don't know what you want me to say to that, huh."

"I want you to say you believe me."

"I don't. Will you please leave me alone? Believe it or not, your cheating is the least of my worries right now."

"Something else happened? Is there anything I can do?"

"You can leave me alone, like I asked. That's all I need from you."

"Fine," Xavier surrendered. "But if you ever need—"

Disconnecting the call, Alicia powered her phone off before tossing it to the corner of her room and going back to sleep.