Love Letters From Harlem

20. Be Altitude: Respect Yourself

𝐊𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐚

As much as Katarina didn't want to admit it, Tussi was right. For the last two weeks, she'd been ignoring Mikayla. The last time the pair saw each other, Katarina had gotten close to taking her frustration out on Mikayla. It had never been Katarina's intention to let her envy of Eveyln and Mikayla's lifestyle get the best of her, but their finding and connecting with men in prison who were better than the free men Katarina entertained seemed to be her breaking point.

The longer she ruminated on the extravagance of being spoiled by a rich nigga, the more infuriated Katarina became. There was a sense of loyalty that Yandi had toward Mikayla because she was the first woman in her life who accepted her just as she was. That loyalty, however, didn't outweigh Katarina's loyalty to herself. Before she could stop it, a seed of resentment was planted in her heart, and talking to Tussi only made it grow larger. Grace had Katarina avoiding Mikayla. No matter how she felt, she didn't want to get on bad terms with her best friend over something so silly. But she was becoming so hypnotized by hate that she was willing to do just about anything to make herself feel better, even if that meant betraying Mikayla.

"This might be a flawed way of thinking to a lot of people, but I'ma keep it a hunnid with you," Tussi continued, since Katarina was still silently pondering what he'd said. "At the end of the day, you gotta fall in love with yourself and your life. Regardless of who comes and goes, you gotta spend the rest of yo' life witchu. If you ain't pleased with who you are and what you got, life gon' be miserable as hell for you. I know you might not want to go against ya girl, but life is good enough for her. Don't worry about her. She got it made. You need to do what's best for you."

Katarina's head lowered, and her tears rapidly began to pour. "I didn't want to like your ass, but you get me. You're honestly perfect for me. If you weren't locked up, we could shake the world up."

"I feel the same way about yo schemin' ass." Katarina chuckled, and Tussi followed behind. "For real, though. I do care about you, Yandi. We're the same. A lot of motherfuckers might not get you, but I do. And I'm telling you what you need to do. Humble yourself for the time being and make shit right with you and Lei. She's the key to me getting out of here, and when I am, it won't be a limit for us."

"I don't know, Tussi. If they find out about what I'm up to, I'm going to lose all my girls. I need you to guarantee me that this shit is going to work."

"Mane, fuck them. I promise it's going to work, and when it does, I can get out and get back to the money like I was before I got locked down. I'ma take care of you. You ain't gon' have to worry about nothing else."

Katarina thought about it for a second before agreeing with, "Aight. I'll do it."

"Cool. Get in there and act like ain't shit changed. I'll hit you up tomorrow."

"Okay."

After disconnecting the call, Katarina wiped her face and put a few eyedrops in her eyes. She retouched her makeup and applied a new layer of perfume before getting out of her car. The sooner she got Tussi out of prison, the better. The man she was dealing with now was paying her bills, but he wanted companionship in return. Usually, Katarina would be cool with that, but she was so disinterested in him, that she could barely fake the funk.

The only reason she knew what her friends were up to was because Evelyn told her where she was headed, but she didn't extend an invitation for Yandi to join them. Katarina didn't blame her. Seeing as she hadn't spoken to Mikayla, it wouldn't be right for her to invite her to her home. Mikayla was wrapping up a case and wanted to enjoy herself before giving her closing statement in the morning. This case had garnered a lot of attention, so Mikayla didn't want to be seen out drinking or doing anything else before the case was over.