Hearts Unmasked And Unbound

Prologue

Kyan Vaer Kosta

If it's already causing you pain, if you can't manage any longer, if it's tearing you apart... then let it go.

We should fight for it. Right? We should fight for things that are important to us. But what if I'm the one causing the pain? How can you fight for something when I'm the source of the suffering?

Fight for it... but ask yourself: Is it really worth fighting for, in the end?

I couldn't tear my gaze away from him as he shut his eyes and let the melody of the song flow effortlessly from his lips.

Malaki ang pinagbago niya, I noticed, and yet despite all those changes, I knew without a doubt that the person I loved, the one I cared about, and the only one who could calm me in the midst of chaos, still lived within him.

Siya pa rin ang minahal ko at siya parin ang mamahalin ko.

The realization that I started as his rival, then found a place as his sanctuary, only to eventually become just another face among the thousands who admire him - is a bittersweet feeling.

Tumingin ako sa paligid, at napangiti nang kaunti nang makita ang libo-libong tao na katulad ko, they also look at him with so much admiration in their eyes. Katulad ko, at some point in their lives, he also saved them.

Ang layo na nang narating niya and God, no amount of words can describe how much I'm proud of him.

But then, as he climbed further and further, the void between us seemed to widen, making it hard for me to bridge it again.

He had always been a difficult person to reach... always slipping further away from my grasp.

Unexpectedly, our eyes met. Tangina, my heart beats faster as my lips quiver.

Pero, napalitan ng sakit ang kilig na nararamdaman ko nang ma pa tantong, his stare.. it wasn't the same anymore. Dati, his eyes were brimming with love, but now all I can see is indifference laced with a hint of hatred.

My heart clenched in my chest as I bit my lips, desperately trying to suppress the tears welling up in my eyes.

Tangina. Ang sakit sakit.

It...

It wasn't supposed to end up like this...

We were supposed to fight for our love until the God himself believed it was too much...

He still harbors anger towards me, and I fear he may never forgive me, and that's what hurts- the possibility that he could never forgive....

I'd be willing to settle for less than I've dreamt of- I'd be content with just being acquaintances if it means he could forgive me. Even if he can only tolerate me on the bare minimum level- I'd take what I can get. I'd rather him feel indifference towards me- I'd rather he doesn't even know who I am than face the pain of his.... hateful feelings.

His eyes... His eyes when he stares at me... Tangina, wala na. Hindi ko na makita ang pagmamahal.

I understand... That the only way of protecting himself from the pain I had caused him is to erase me from his memory, to forget me entirely. Pero bakit siya lang? Bakit siya lang ang naka usad? Why can't I also do that? Bakit hindi ko ma iwan-iwan ang nakaraan?

I was hurt too...

I bit down on my inner cheek, silently begging myself not to burst into tears as I watched him.

A bitter smile tugged at my lips as I took a step back, nodding slowly.

I looked at him one last time. He was already singing merrily, his gaze drifting down towards the crowd.

My presence didn't even bother him a bit.

And that's when I knew it.

Wala na.

Wala na talaga.

I could always read his eyes. Nababasa ko lagi ang nararamdaman niya sa pamamagitan ng kanyang mga mata. Pero ngayon, I read nothing. Wala akong mabasa.

Why? Because my presence isn't important enough for him to feel something for me.

I'd do anything to win him again if he let me do so but if not...

Then I hope that one day he can find it in himself to forgive me. I'd settle for him not caring about my presence at all- as long as my mere existence no longer causes him pain....

I'm just grateful that we happened. Although it didn't last, atleast I was able to experience the joy and fulfillment of loving him.

Nothing is better than the pain of his hatred. That's for sure.

Dahan dahan akong tumalikod. Usad na tayo, Kyan. Tama na... For the sake of healing... For the both of us.