This World I Live In

Chapter 14. A Brief Moment of Calm

I'm standing in an ocean of nothingness. No matter where I look, there is nothing. Just... blackness. And then I see something. A single, small dot of light appears in the middle of the void. Within a second, the speck grows wider by the second. It takes up more and more space, getting brighter as it does. Soon enough, I'm bombarded from all sides. I try to shield my eyes with my hands but the light shines through; illuminating all the bones in my arms.

My eyes crack open. While my vision is still blurry, I can feel myself slowly waking up. Things are still fuzzy so I close my eyes for a minute. The gears in my head start turning. After a moment, I open my eyes again and slowly sit up. That's when a headache hits me.

"Ugh..." I groan.

"Oh, Dieu merci, vous êtes réveillé," comes a voice to my right.

All of a sudden, Frédérique is at my hand helping me up. She puts a bottle of water into my hands that I eagerly drink. The cold water feels like heaven to my parched throat. I sigh in relief once I'm done.

"Merci, Frédérique." I give her a smile. "Merci beaucoup, mon amie."

She returns the smile. "De rein."

It's only just then that I realize that I don't have my gas mask on. She can see my face. A part of my mind does take issue with this but I'm too tired to care. Even though I've only known her for... what? Three, four days? I don't even know. A familiar sound comes from above.

"Is it still raining?" I groan.

"Oui," she confirms. "It's not stopped."

"Hmm."

I rub my forehead, the headache is already fading. Good.

"How long was I out?" I ask.

"Sept heures," she answers.

"Seven hours?!" I repeat.

"Plus ou moins." She shrugs. "Non clocks works so..."

"Right. Again, thank you, Frédérique."

She gives me another smile. Then her eyes lit up and she grabs her backpack.

"Ici."

Frédérique pulls out my gas mask from it. The lenses are just as shattered as before. I stare at the thing for a minute. While a part of me urges me to put it on, a growing other half argues to keep it off. If anything, it will improve communication since she can hear me a lot clearer.

"Thanks," I say.

I lay the gas mask next to me and close my eyes. The events of... well everything have certainly taken their toll on me, and Frédérique as well most likely. I sigh and rub my temples.

She taps my shoulder. "Puis-je vous, what happens to you, Aiden?"

My blood turns cold at the mention of that name.

"What did you say?" I ask, quietly.

Her eyes widen. "Oh, c'est vrai! Stupide!"

She hits her forehead and rushes out of the room. A minute later comes back with a bundle of papers in her arms. I look at her confused as she puts them in my lap.

"Read..." she urges.

I pull a page at random. The writing is not done by hand, rather it looks like it was printed. Random ink splotches and rain damage have done a number to the page, smearing the print. Still, a bit of it is legible from here to there.

It concerned Aiden greatly that he couldn't remember. All these words and ideas, yet he couldn't remember a single thing relating to himself. Why was he in these woods? Why (illegible) and it worried him. He remembered what amnesia was but not why he was falling from the (illegible).

The rest is impossible to make out. Still, reading the page turns my blood to ice. I know what it is referring to. That... feeling I felt in the woods when I had just arrived. The questions... the anxiety... the worry it had all been described verbatim on this piece of paper. And there was that name... Aiden. That old man in the Manor had called me that as well causing my panic attack.

"The papier," Frédérique explains, "told moi."

"I... see." I gulp. "I..."

My voice fades from there. I want to deny it, that being my name. But the name Aiden, it feels... fulfilling in a way. Right. Like that's actually my name no matter how much I wish to just deny it. I sigh and rub my head.

"My name is Aiden," I say slowly.

"Aidan," she repeats. "Is that... alright? May I... caller you that?"

"Y-yeah. That's fine." I nod my head.

"Vraiment?"

"Vraiment," I confirm. "I... got to accept it. But, Frédérique?"

"Mhm?"

I look her in the eye. "I need you to explain everything that happened after I fell into that TV."

And so she does. It comes out in a combination of French and broken English but with the help of the dictionary I'm able to understand it. Once she is done, I relay my experience as well since it is only fair. When both of us are finally done listening to each other, I come to one conclusion:

"We got to get out of this city," I decide.

She looks at me surprised. "What? What about... food?"

"It doesn't matter anymore." I shake my head. "I've seen what this city can do. It's not worth it and I'm sorry for bringing you along, Frédérique."

"It not you fault," she says.

"Not having a choice doesn't make me feel any better. But this place isn't worth it. We can try one of the other spots on the map."

She stays quiet for a minute. I rub my temples and sigh again.

"Listen, Fred, I know I've basically ripped you out of your comfort zone. Sure, you were running out of food and didn't really have any other choice, but I still feel bad. You were safe in that cabin and now you're here, fighting for our lives," I apologize. "I... let's make a deal. Okay?"

"D'accord."

"When we go back to the cabin—if you want to go back at all—I'll let you decide what to do. Where we go, what we do, it'll be your call."

"Vraiment?" She asks.

"Really," I repeat to her. "I'm serious. Looking back at the cabin now," I laugh, "it was paradise. I can't believe I wanted to leave. Well, I can. I wanted to see this city and now I have. So let's go back and decide our next move."

"You... you be fine with that?"

"Oui, je le suis," I confirm.

She smiles at my horrible pronunciation.

"So, deal?" I extend my hand.

"C'est un accord," she accepts.

The two of us shake hands. I'm happy she has agreed. A large part of me has felt guilty since it feels like I've been basically dragging Frédérique along the entire time while she used to be safe back in the cabin. Even if she doesn't feel that way (which I doubt), it still feels better to make a deal with her.

I lean my head back in relief. A massive weight feels like it has been lifted from my shoulders. Despite the pouring rain and dreary setting, I smile.