She Was Just A Child (PART 2)

CHAPTER 27: INTO THE ABYSS

Dian sat alone in her quarters, her fingers curled tightly around the edges of her cot as if it were the only thing anchoring her to reality. The darkness in her mind was relentless, gnawing at her thoughts, twisting everything until she could no longer tell the difference between right and wrong. Zero One’s voice echoed in her head, his taunts and insinuations pushing her deeper into a whirlpool of obsession and rage.

She couldn’t get Rustam’s face out of her mind—the way he had looked at her when he pulled her back, his expression a mixture of shock and pity. He had seen her lose control, seen her at her lowest, and the shame was unbearable. But it was Amara’s face that lingered, taunting her with that look of pity, as if she had already won.

Dian’s phone buzzed beside her, dragging her back to the present. She picked it up, heart pounding, hoping against hope that it was Rustam, reaching out, explaining, apologizing.

But it wasn’t.

Instead, it was a notification from the security system—a motion alert on the corridor outside Amara’s quarters. Dian’s pulse quickened as she stared at the alert, her fingers hovering over the screen. She shouldn’t care, shouldn’t look, but the pull was too strong, her mind too clouded to resist.

She tapped on the screen, pulling up the security feed. The dimly lit hallway outside Amara’s quarters came into view, and she saw them. Rustam and Amara. Together, standing close, talking in hushed voices. Even through the screen, she could see the ease between them, the comfort of two people who had shared countless moments together.

Dian’s grip on the phone tightened until her knuckles turned white. The image blurred as tears pricked her eyes, her mind racing with thoughts she couldn’t control.

She doesn’t deserve him, a voice whispered in the back of her mind. He was yours first.

Without thinking, she stood up, her mind blank save for one thought—she needed to confront them. She needed answers, explanations, something that would make sense of the chaos inside her.

Her feet carried her through the base like she was in a trance, her hands trembling as she neared the corridor outside Amara’s quarters. The hallway was empty, silent except for the faint hum of the base’s ventilation system. But she could still feel them there, just around the corner, and every step brought her closer to them.

Dian turned the corner and froze. Rustam and Amara were still there, standing close, their voices soft and intimate. She couldn’t hear their words, but she didn’t need to—the way they looked at each other said everything.

The sight sent a fresh wave of fury crashing through her. Without warning, she stepped forward, her footsteps echoing in the quiet corridor. Rustam and Amara looked up, their faces registering surprise as they saw her approaching.

“Dian?” Rustam’s voice was cautious, but there was a hint of wariness in his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

Dian didn’t answer, her gaze fixed on Amara. The other woman’s expression shifted, a mixture of confusion and concern, and it only fueled the fire inside Dian.

“I need to talk to you,” Dian said, her voice cold, each word laced with an edge she could barely control. “Now.”

Rustam took a step forward, his brow furrowing. “Dian, maybe we should talk about this later. I don’t think—”

“No,” she interrupted, her gaze never leaving Amara. “I think we need to settle this now.”

Amara glanced at Rustam, her hand resting lightly on his arm. The sight sent a flash of red-hot anger through Dian, and before she could stop herself, she spoke.

“Why are you with her?” Her voice trembled with barely restrained rage. “What does she have that I don’t?”

Rustam’s eyes widened, his expression shifting to one of disbelief. “Dian, this isn’t the time or place for this.”

Dian’s hands clenched into fists, her nails digging into her palms as she forced herself to keep her voice steady. “Answer me, Rustam. Why her?”

Amara’s face softened, and she stepped forward, her voice calm but firm. “Dian, I don’t know what’s going on with you, but maybe you need to take a step back.”

“Don’t tell me what I need,” Dian snapped, her voice sharp as a blade. “You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.”

Amara’s expression remained calm, but there was a hint of pity in her eyes that made Dian’s skin crawl. “I know you’re hurting, and I know you care about Rustam. But this isn’t the way to handle it.”

The words only stoked Dian’s anger further. She felt her control slipping, the darkness inside her pushing her closer to the edge. Her gaze darted between Amara and Rustam, her mind a blur of jealousy and rage.

“You don’t deserve him,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper but filled with venom. “You’ll never understand him the way I do.”

Rustam stepped between them, his expression hardening. “Dian, that’s enough. This isn’t who you are.”

But his words only fed the storm inside her. She couldn’t see reason anymore; all she could see was Amara—standing there, looking at her with pity, with that same condescending expression she had seen too many times.

Dian took a step forward, her fists trembling. “You don’t belong here,” she hissed, her voice shaking. “You don’t belong with him.”

Amara’s eyes widened, and she took a cautious step back, her hand slipping off Rustam’s arm. “Dian, please. Just calm down.”

But Dian couldn’t calm down. The world around her faded, and all she could see was the woman standing between her and Rustam, the woman who had taken everything from her.

In a flash, she moved forward, her body acting on pure instinct, her fists swinging before she even realized what she was doing. Rustam lunged, grabbing her arms before she could reach Amara, his grip strong and unyielding.

“Dian, stop!” he shouted, his voice filled with a mix of anger and desperation. “This isn’t you!”

But the words barely registered. All she could feel was the rage, the jealousy, the burning need to make Amara disappear. Her heart pounded in her chest, her mind consumed by a single, unrelenting thought—Amara doesn’t deserve him.

Rustam’s grip tightened, forcing her to face him, his expression filled with frustration and hurt. “Dian, you need to get a hold of yourself. This isn’t healthy. This isn’t normal.”

The words stung, and for a moment, a flicker of clarity broke through the haze in her mind. She looked into his eyes, seeing the disappointment there, the realization that he was looking at her like she was a stranger.

Slowly, her hands dropped to her sides, the weight of his words sinking in. Her breath came in shallow gasps, her chest tight with the aftermath of her outburst. She had crossed a line—she knew it, felt it deep in her bones.

Rustam released her, his expression softening but filled with sadness. “Dian, you need help. This isn’t you.”

She took a shaky step back, her heart pounding as reality set in. She had lost him. Whatever hope she had held onto was gone, shattered by her own actions.

Amara stood behind him, her expression wary but sympathetic, and it only twisted the knife deeper. Dian felt her chest tighten, the weight of her mistakes crashing down on her all at once.

Without another word, she turned and fled down the hallway, her vision blurred with unshed tears. She didn’t know where she was going, didn’t care. She just needed to get away—from them, from herself, from everything.

As she ran, Zero One’s words echoed in her mind, a haunting reminder of the darkness she could never escape.

You can’t run from who you are.

And as much as she wanted to deny it, she knew he was right.