Win Your Heart - TayNew

Chap.3: The Silent Observer

The search for New had begun to feel like chasing a wisp of smoke. Dejected, Tay wandered towards the football pitch, his usual haven for solitary contemplation. He was so desperate to talk to him, but he still couldn’t find out the reason he wanted that. He met a lot of people in his life and easily made friends with them. Yet, he never felt the urge to get to know somebody as much as he wanted to get to know New and approach him. Something about that guy felt different; the feeling Tay felt as soon as he saw him enter the classroom, his beautiful smell, his serious and calm aura. Nobody has ever made Tay as curious as he was for New.

As he rounded the corner, his heart lurched. There, bathed in the golden light of the setting sun, sat New. Alone, just like Tay had feared, but this time amidst a riot of blooming flowers, a canvas of colour punctuated by the gentle pluck of petals from New's fingertips. The sunlight reflected on his pale white skin, his cheeks painted with red spots because of the heat the sun planted in them.

He was making a little bouquet out of the daisies that surrounded him, smelling them gently, smiling so sweetly, which made Tay’s heart melt for a second. A tiny stray puppy approached New, and the latter started playing tiny games with it. He threw a stick of wooden that he found on the floor for the puppy to get. And whenever the puppy gave him the stick, he would smile widely. A smile, the most breathtaking Tay had ever witnessed, curved New's lips every time. It was a smile that held the peace of solitude and the quiet joy of self-discovery. Tay found himself mirroring that smile, a silent connection blooming across the distance.

“Why are you smiling, Tay?!” Tay questioned himself as he noticed the smile that he drew on his own face as he watched the gorgeous guys in front of him living the best time of his life all alone with nature.

When the puppy was gone, New was left all alone again, which made Tay’s heart hurt a little. But just as Tay gathered the courage to bridge the gap and walk towards him to maybe have a talk and get to know each other more, a figure materialized beside New. Tall and handsome, a beauty that would make anyone fall for easily: but of course not Tay, whose focus was on New all the time. That guy seemed to radiate an easy confidence that drew New into conversation.

Tay watched, a strange ache blossoming in his chest. It was a feeling he couldn't quite name, a tangled mix of envy and something deeper, a yearning to be part of the laughter and shared smiles playing out before him. Perhaps he was not good enough for New to be interested in communicating with him. Or maybe he should’ve been more confident and walked towards New faster so that the other guy would have seen them together so he wouldn’t approach New.

He watched them play with the resident cats, which they found on the other side of the playground, their figures weaving between the flowers, a symphony of light and joy. The unfamiliar pang sharpened, a silent plea echoing in his heart – to be the one eliciting those smiles, to share that carefree moment with New.

Yet, amidst the strange cocktail of emotions, a flicker of warmth remained. Seeing New so genuinely happy, a lightness in his eyes that hadn't been there before, soothed a part of Tay he hadn't realized was hurting. At that moment, a strange truth settled within him – as long as New's smile bloomed, a part of him would find solace, even if it wasn't reflected at him. As long as New was good and safe, his heart was satisfied, even if he had to watch him for afar. Even if he had to be the only one who cares, even if he was the only one whose heart was aching and begging for attention and a moment with New.

The following day, Tay, the boisterous life of their class, was a ghost. An eerie silence had replaced his usual cacophony. Physically present, yet mentally adrift, he seemed lost in a reverie. A nagging doubt gnawed at him: should he seize the moment and reach out to New before it was too late? The memory of the other guy's brazen approach lingered, a spectre of potential rejection.

New, seated beside him, was a stark contrast. Completely absorbed in the teacher's discourse, he seemed oblivious to the general malaise that had settled over the class. Tay wondered how one could find such fascination in the mundane while the rest of them yearned for the sweet release of the final bell.

His gaze drifted from New to the blackboard, a canvas filled with indecipherable hieroglyphs that seemed destined for oblivion. Nothing ignited his curiosity. Nothing stirred his soul.

As the class concluded, Tay steeled himself for a new attempt. “New,” he ventured, his voice barely a whisper.

A radiant smile lit up New's face, a sight that sent a jolt of electricity through Tay. It was the smile he had dreamed of, the one that could make his heart skip a beat.

“Yes?” New replied, his voice a melody that filled Tay with hope.

“Can w—” Tay faltered, his words caught in his throat. Before he could finish, the same guy from the playground burst into the room, shouting New's name and announcing his impending arrival to their class.

“Let's grab lunch,” the guy said, tugging New away. New glanced back at Tay a few times, but the other guy's relentless enthusiasm left no room for pause.

A wave of frustration washed over Tay. It wasn't anger, but something deeper, a pang of despair. Perhaps he wasn't as worthy as he had imagined. Maybe the other guy had already won New's heart, leaving him forever on the sidelines.

“Tay! Focus!” A loud scream snapped Tay out of his reverie. It was Nanon.

“What?! You scared the life out of me!” Tay exclaimed, startled.

“Well, if you were focused and in this world, you wouldn't have been so surprised,” Nanon grinned, playfully patting Tay's head. “What's got my best friend so out of sorts lately?” he asked, settling across from Tay.

“Nothing. I'm fine,” Tay insisted, letting out a sigh. “I'm just tired.”

“That 'fine' doesn't sound very convincing,” Nanon frowned, slamming his books on the table. “We need to have a serious talk.”

“Later, Nanon. Let's grab a bite to eat first. I'm starving,” Tay replied.

“Hmm…” Nanon clearly didn't believe Tay, but he knew there was no point in forcing the issue at that moment.

AN:
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