This Twisted Story

Living Hell

(AN, this her wolf form. except the eyes are different and her fur is a darker black)

I trail my hand along the wall, as the moonlight streams through the windows along the edge of the hall. After my nightmare, I couldn't go back to sleep. this is a fairly common occurrence, one that leaves me even more sleep deprived than normal. I've always had nightmares since my mother died, but after coming to Hogwarts they've gotten worse. Maybe because of the almost constant use of my abilities, or because my mind isn't constantly focused on surviving, I'm not sure. But either way it's straining my body to use my abilities like this while not getting proper sleep. The bigger problem is that I can't use my camouflage consistently as I used to, in fear of passing out from the strain. Because passing out won't draw any attention. I thought sarcastically.

I wind up by a pair of doors that lead outside. I decided to visit the forbidden forest. I doubt anything in there would dare oppose me, as long as I don't stray into Centar territory. I made that mistake once, I ended up having to get new clothes, after tearing five different arrows out of the fabric. I reach the edge of the school grounds, before sliding into the thick strand of trees known as the forbidden forest. I step through the threshold of the forest and walk through the trees, contemplating my fucked up life.

Is this what my mother died for? A sad imitation of a proper life. Then again I've never really had one of those, have I? I think bitterly. It's not like I'm wrong. What I'm living now? This isn't life. It's a living hell. The sky starts to lighten and I begin walking back towards the castle still thinking. My entire life has just been a montage of running and hiding. but I'm not a runner. I'm a fighter. But I can't fight the entire Ministry of magic, no matter how much I want to. No matter how much I want to shout and scream, to cause chaos. To be noticed for once in my miserable life! I can't because if I am discovered? By Greyack or the ministry, I'll either be broken and beaten into submission, or become the Ministry's little science experiment. But somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder. Would those alternatives really be any worse than the cage for a life I'm living now?

I end up back in the dormitory, to get ready for the day. I always make sure to be up before the others, and out of the dormitory before they wake up. less so because of secrecy, and more so because those four are all made of chaos when they're getting ready in the morning. I have never worn makeup because... well because it's too expensive. Even with the extra stuff from Hogwarts it's not like I'm living lavishly out there. Plus no one sees my face anyways so I don't really see the point. I pull my ash black hair into a braid and it dangles all the way down to my hip bone. What? it's not like I can afford hair stylists. I haven't cut my hair for five years, (I had an incident with a pair of charmed garden shears. maybe I'll tell you later.) so naturally it's long.

I quietly, shut the dark oak door to the girls dormitory, and step lightly heading to the common room, with a book in hand. Today it's pride and prejudice. In these lonely years, books have been my only refuge. A key to a cage of my own making. I creep quietly down to the common room. Making sure to avoid the loose floorboards. As I head down the stairs I hear a multitude of voices conversing.

"I'm telling you mate, we just need to ask around a bit more and we'll know her name in no time!" that sounds like... Black? Oh no...

"I can't believe that nobody in the gryffindor tower knew who she was." that's Remus "I mean, It's not like her eyes blend in." Well fuck, it looks like them forgetting about me is nothing more than a pipe dream now. How in the hell am I supposed to blend in with the Marauders looking for me, my camouflage is two times harder to use for people who are activity looking for me, and with my lack of sleep this is going to be hard. Not to mention something tells me that the Marauders aren't exactly going to be quiet about their efforts. Wonderful this is going to be fun.*Sigh*

(10 hours later, it's now after dinner Lupins POV)

As soon as we enter our dorm room James flops down onto his bed with an exaggerated sigh.

"How does nobody know who she is!?" James cries "I mean we even asked the Slytherins, the Slytherins Sirius! My ego may never recover."

"Poor Baby." I say, rolling my eyes.

"Stop it Remus! You're just as curious as the rest of us!" James groans. I stay silent after that, because he's right. I am curious about the mystery girl. While some of the Marauders *cough* James and Sirius *cough* are not very observant. I pride myself on being attentive, and there is no way that I wouldn't have remembered her. Or at least her eyes. Is she a transfer? But if she was then the entire school would know who she was, hogwarts almost never gets transfers. But absolutely nobody recognizes the description we gave them!, if I didn't know better I would think that she's a ghost.

"I mean, even Professor McGonagall didn't recognize her! McGonagall! I thought she knew everybody." Sirius joins the complaining party. James suddenly slaps the bed. We quickly shift our gazes to him.

"Damn It!" He shouts. "We are finding this girl if it's the last thing we ever do!" Peter sweatdrops,

"I would rather it not be..."