Pen: ALRIGHT SO *CLAPS IN "I'M FUCKING MAD" QUIETLY* I'm in my car rn cuz my wife's in the house and she's really upset at me. I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY HEAR ME OUT
-F L A S H B A C K (also Pen narrates)-
Pen: So it all started last night when i was just in bed w/ma wife (i was dreaming about her-)
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Pen narrator again: Very peacefully until my wife suddenly yelled: "I H A T E Y O U" and i sat up terrified-
Back to Pen in the car: MF- but still i ended up sleeping again
Narrator Pen: The next morning i woke up at 06:45 like i usually do (got that habit from ma boi Trei), walk to the side of the bed telling my wife: "Hey babe wake up" BUT SHE'S LIKE: "D O N ' T T O U C H M E"
Pen narrator again: I MEAN- W H A - then i decided to js go to le bathroom
Pen: Gor my bathroom shit done i go back out to the side of the bed and tap her on the shoulder again saying "Honey it's 07:20 already wakeyyyy-" but when she finally woke up SHE USED HER SHOULDER AND SHOULDER-SHOVED ME TO THE SIDE AGGRESSIVELY AND WALK INTO THE BATHROOM. And i was like: "OKAY (in "WTF (in a terrified way)")..?"
Pen in the car: YEAH I WAS TERRIFIED AF so i decided to js go to le kitchen n make her some coffee since maybe this is js a CAFFEINE PROBLEM. So i was making pancakes and coffee then i heard her STOMPING all the way from the bathroom to the kitchen-
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-BC THAT'S WHAT YALL DO WHEN UR MAD U B STOMPING LIKE SOME FUCKIN T-REX *proceeds to stomp as examples* when she arrives in the kitchen i was eating pancake but i was like-
Pen narrator: (should i just do it? Should i just ask her? Yeah i should i might regret this- YOLO, IOLO.) I asked her: "HONEY WHAT'S THE MATTER W/U" and then she js look at me dead in the eyes and said:
Crystal in flashback: "YOU CHEATED ON ME IN M Y D R E A M ."
*[insert flabbergasted Pen in flashback]*
Flashback Pen: "WHA- wait what- ok listen honey we've been married for definitely 2 weeks+ now and you are upset at me for "CHEATING ON YOU" I N Y O U R D R E A M . SO NOW U WANT A DIVORCE OR WHAT- like how did i even-"
Flashback Crystal: "I walk in on you making out with THE WAITRESS AT THAT RESTAURANT WE WENT TO LAST WEEK *[insert Bottle]* yk? That fuckin brunette w/the tinted blue hair?"
Flashback Pen: "WAIT WHA- WHO?? Wh-what's that restaurant's name again holy shit-"
Flashback Crystal: "No divorce but i want you to a p o l o g i z e . That way you can regain my trust and respect."
Pen in the car: BROTHER LIKE- I'm literally asking you for advice should i get the divorce paper ready or should i actually apologize to her for CHEATING ON HER I N H E R D R E A M ? ! -
I'm sorry that i decided to use Crystal's pronouns as she/her here- DEEPLY SORRY./gen
