Classroom of the elite | The path that leads to nothingness - OC

April 1st

April 1st. 

The bus window I rested my head against trembled, this shaking was sometimes almost soothing, and sometimes rather violent. Like a mother waking up her toddler to go to school on a Monday, but that stupid son of a bitch just won't wake up because he was awake all night doing whatever a normal kid would do. 

Well, it's not like I can relate. No, it's not that I can't relate to staying awake past my bedtime, the pain in my body would often leave me sleepless in the white room. What I can't relate to however is having a mother who'd wake me up. 

It's not that I'm complaining however because a few months back I met my mother. Turns out, my father had paid her(An average woman) to sleep with him(an average man) to make me: A should've been average boy. Seriously, when I listened to him explain all of this in court, it felt comical due to just how flawed his reasoning felt. 

So yeah, my mom's a prostitute, and dad's a mad man with ambition and power, atleast he used to have power, now both of them are in jail for child endagerment. And the child in danger you may ask? That's me, Ayanakouji Kiyotaka, with newly recovered fractures and a new life ahead of him (supposedly.)

You know, before the whiteroom had been destroyed, a question always used to bother me: "Are all human beings equal?" The answer is preety obvious to anyone that no, human beings never were, and never could be equal. In ancient kingdoms, the king would sleep with all the preety women in town, while a mere fruit seller will die of old age without knowing the touch of a woman. 

So no, human beings are not equal. What I am curious about however is what makes them different. Things like background, friends, etc. play a huge roal in determining who a person is at birth and what they will be at the moment they die. I know my background makes me different than others, it makes me more physically capable than most and gives me brains that I doubt anybody else in the world could match. 

But I don't lack other things that makes people different, like a personality, emotions, friends, family, and many other important things that the whiteroom had failed in providing me. But... truthfully, the whiteroom did give me a few things that could've helped, like Yuki, she tried her hardest to be by my side but I rejected her on her face, Shiro had given me the idea of the possibility of an outside world, the world that my father rejected but he embraced, and although I have no idea where he is or what he's doing nowadays, I know for sure he's feeling and living much better than he did in the whiteroom. 

Me however, I've grown used to that place, the white walls that pain the eyes when being stared at for too long had started to stare into my eyes. No matter where I go, what I become, who I meet, the white walls will never leave my eyesight. I almost feel like Kafka from Kafka on a shore, by Haruki Murakami. Just like him, i'm stuck in a sandstorm. 

Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you  

Those were the words by Murakami. 

The bus I was riding stopped and a few passangers consisting of students wearing the same uniform as me, an office lady and an old woman got in. I scanned the bus around and found only two empty seats that were immediately captured by two of the students who got in. 

While looking around the bus my eyes went in the direction of a beautiful black haired girl from the same school as me reading a novel: crime and punishemnt, by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, one of my favourites of all time. This girl was also seated next to mine, so if I wanted to I could start a conversation with her about the book, this was a great way to make friends, so despite the "Get the fuck outta' my sight you imbecile!" look on the girl's face, I took my chances.