Hearts Quick to Burn

XIII.

The moment Anna left me looking at the bay, I felt a pang of sadness rush over me. I didn't really know why. Everything seemed so irreal, I had never thought my lives in New York and Los Angeles would become so intertwined.

I thought I left everything in New York.

I sat there for a long time, watching the waves hit the sand, shivering with cold. I didn't know what I was doing, staying out late, talking to old acquaintances...

I wasn't doing it "for the plot", as I could say sometimes, but to have something to do, in this simple – and boring life, for someone who had lived the same things as me.

It was so simple that it had become complicated. It should have been obvious once things were too perfect between Henley and me. And maybe it was my fault he was hitting me, maybe it was deserved, for not being able to stay sane.

I realized I was freezing, so I went home: it was about eleven o'clock.

Streets were calmer than on usual friday nights, and I enjoyed it. I hoped that my flat was as calm, without Henley. But at that hour it was possible for him to finish work earlier, so I slept in a hotel to be sure I'd avoid any interaction with him.

That was stupid and I was a coward, but I was aware of it.

...

The next day, as I left the hotel, I sent Lana a message to ask her if she was free to hangout with me.

While waiting for her to answer me, I had a coffee, still so as not to go home. Though, honestly, one day or another I'd be having a conversation with Henley about what was going on.

I received a notification, first thinking that Lana was answering me. But no, it was him. As if he had read my mind.

HENLEY:
Stop ignoring me whenever I do something, we have to talk
You're not home?!

GRACE:
I'm having a coffee

HENLEY:
Please come to my place

Sighing, I put my phone back in my pocket and paid for my coffee, before heading to my apartment complex.

I knocked at Henley's door, but it was already half opened. He approached me, hugging me awkwardly during a very short time.

"I missed you like crazy..." he sighed. I only replied by a little sound that didn't really mean anything. So he took my hand and lead me to his couch, both of us sitting on it.

"I guess this conversation had to come up someday," he continued, probably because he realized I didn't want to talk.

I was just looking at him, biting my lip anxiously, waiting for him to say more than that. I was incapable of doing it by myself, and at that moment, I realized what we were about to do.

And I was still scared of losing him, despite the fact that it was wrong.

"I hurt you and it doesn't work anymore between us, Grace."

That sentence terrified me, because I knew what followed it. We were going to break up.

"I hurt you too," I murmured. But he just didn't know how much I hurt him – I couldn't say to his face that I cheated on him with his best friend's friend.

He pressed his lips together and intertwined our fingers, squeezing my hand gently in his.

"I can see that I hurt you and that you're not doing good, but at the same time... I've never seen you so happy to go outside with friends."