August
I stormed through my bedroom door, the weight of my decision heavy on my shoulders. The grand room echoed with the sound of my footsteps as I called out to my lady's maid, urgency lacing my voice.
"Quickly Anne! I need every essential of mine packed and ready to go within the hour," I commanded, my tone leaving no room for argument.
She sprang into action, her movements a blur of activity as she hurried to fulfill my orders. A trunk was brought down from the attic, drawers were emptied of their contents, and valuables were carefully wrapped and packed away.
In the midst of the chaos, I moved with purpose, directing her efforts with a firm hand. Every item was quickly scrutinized, every possession weighed against its worth, as I made split-second decisions about what to take and what to leave behind.
I needed to be gone by the time the Duke and Duchess returned from the ball they were currently attending. I knew that if anyone could talk me out of my decision it was the Duke, and I needed this. I needed this change and for no one to stand in my way.
The world outside was held at bay by the thick walls of my bedchamber, yet I could feel its chill seeping through as I stood, concealed in the shadows of my chambers. Anne moved about quietly, her hands folding garments with a precision that seemed out of place with the urgency of our actions. Her brow was furrowed with worry as she packed the essentials into a heavy travel bag.
"Milady," Anne's voice was a soft whisper, laden with concern she tried to mask under her usual professionalism. "Are you sure about this? It's not safe to travel at night, not without a proper escort."
I looked around my chamber, my gaze skimming over the opulent tapestries and the flickering flames in the fireplace. Here, amidst the warmth and splendor, I was making a decision that felt like a betrayal to the very stones that had watched me grow.
"I have to do this, Anne," I said, my voice barely a whisper, fearing even the walls might hear. "Staying here... it's no longer an option. Not after everything that's happened."
"But where will you go?" Anne pressed on, pausing to look at me directly, her eyes searching mine for an inkling of the fear I felt coursing through my veins.
I turned away from her piercing gaze, moving to the window to stare out at the darkened estate grounds. "I don't," I murmured, the word tasting of both freedom and despair on my tongue, "I don't know."
Anne came up beside me, her presence a comforting warmth. "Without telling anyone why? What are you running from, your grace? What could possibly be so terrible?"
Tears threatened to spill as her questions echoed in my mind—the same ones that had haunted me all day. How could I explain that I wasn't running from some looming danger or shadowy figure, but from a far more insidious threat, one that could tear everything apart if exposed? It wasn't fear of the unknown that plagued me, but the crushing weight of what might happen if the truth ever saw the light of day. If anyone found out... no, I couldn't bear to think of the consequences. The whispers, the judgment, the ruin. A single misstep, and it would all come crashing down, not just for me, but for everyone entangled in this wretched web. To be seen, to be known—it would mean the end.
"I can't explain—not now, at least," I finally said, my voice thick with emotion. "Just know that this must be done, Anne. Please, help me get away safely."
Anne nodded, the lines of her face hardening with resolve. "Very well, milady. I will see to it that no one stops you. But promise me you'll be careful. Your future is a long way off, and the road is fraught with perils for a woman alone."
