A Silent Surrender

THE MORNING AFTER

I wake up slowly, my body still tingling with the soreness from last night. A small smile creeps onto my face as I remember how passionately Miguel and I had spent the night together. No, not just the night, possibly the entire night. My eyes remain closed as I stretch out my hand across the bed, searching for his warmth, only to find emptiness.

What the hell? Why does this man always leave? Why can't I ever be enough to keep him here? A stab of frustration hits me, and I sit up abruptly, glancing at the time on my phone. 6 o'clock. I let out a sigh and roll out of bed, trying not to let my mind spiral.

I take a long, hot shower, feeling the warmth wash away the frustration from my body, but the lingering thoughts remain. After drying off, I pull on my favorite blue jean shorts, one with the little embroidered flowers, and pair them with a simple white crop top. Casual but cute enough.

As I make my way out, Nanny Rose crosses my path with a soft smile. "Good morning, Eva," she greets, her voice tender.

"Morning, Nanny," I mumble, giving her a nod as she heads to my room, probably to clear the remnants of the night. I shake my head, annoyed with myself for thinking about it too much.

I reach the dining room, where breakfast is already laid out, French toast, yogurt with a side of grapes, and some white tea. I take a seat, picking up a novel to distract myself while nibbling at my food. My eyes skim the pages, but I'm not really reading. My mind keeps drifting back to Miguel. To last night. To this confusing mess I've landed in.

Why did he leave me alone after that? Does he regret it? I could even be pregnant now, what kind of man does that and just leaves? My thoughts are all over the place.

Once I finish my meal, I decide to head out to the stables. If Miguel can't be here, at least I can spend time with his animals. The horses, chickens, hell, even they seem like better company at the moment. Walking through the garden and all the way to the farm, I breathe in the fresh air, hoping to clear my mind.

When I reach the stables, a stable hand introduces himself as Marc. He's kind and helps me choose a beautiful white horse named Cleo. She's graceful, and as I mount her, Marc warns me not to wander too far since I might get lost. I nod, though I barely care about where I'm going. I ride Cleo across the vast land, soaking in the scenery and trying to forget my frustrations. It's peaceful, but not enough to keep my mind from drifting back to Miguel.

After a while, I return to the house and decide to call Alec. The sound of his voice immediately soothes me as we talk about everything, about how I miss home, miss Dad, even Mum . I tell Alec how lonely it feels here, how Miguel is barely around. He asks if Miguel has been treating me well, and I sigh, saying yes. How could I explain that Miguel is distant, even after last night? but it's not like he has physically hurt me so I keep my frustrations to myself.

"I'll ask him if I can go back to school," I tell Alec after a moment. "I can't just sit here, doing nothing. I want to be a doctor, Alec. I'm young, and I can finish my studies if I try. I don't want to waste my life."

Alec encourages me, but I can hear the worry in his voice. We hang up, and I feel slightly better, more determined to approach Miguel and ask for his permission.

By the afternoon, I hear Miguel's voice from the study. My heart races, thinking of how I'm going to approach this conversation. I stand outside the door for a second, gathering my courage, and then knock softly.

"Come in," his voice is curt, cold.

I step inside, and he's sitting at his desk, eyes glued to his laptop. Without even looking at me, he barks, "What do you want ?"