Nihal pov
The three years
Life is going downhill, not just for me but I can see for her as well, we both are at the position where we can't go back even if we try our hardest.
My heart and mind has forgotten the peace and solace, I don't know what happiness looks like in these three years, our routine became dead, home felt like a suffocating puzzle I am not able to solve.
Gungun became so robotic and monotonous as if she is not alive anymore, her eyes we're deprived pf any emotions, face always resting blank, she didn't cry, smile, even frown at times,, she was just blank as if not a human anymore, this thing really scared the shot out of me.
Noticing her drastic changes I am confused sacred and sad, I did not ever imagine to lead my life at this point, I talked with our parents but was brutally disregarded for hallucinations and was ignored.
I tried everything, little things to big things, making plans to spend time with her, taking efforts for the kids and her despite being busy with my business, I tried to spend time at home,, to take her out, to talk to her, to ask her if something is wrong, to actually trying really hard to make us better but her monotonous tone and non responses irritated me, demotivated me, letting me really know something is very very wrong until one day I decided to talk this to my family.
I called my father in law to meet me with my mother in law, a fine evening they came to our house, gunu again so monotonous served them tea while we all sat in the living room, she again was stiff and out the place in front of them as if avoiding them.
"Papa mummy I just don't know yeh vesi nahi hai yaar mujhe samjha nahi aa raha aap logo nahi dikhta kya ? " I asked four of them, feeling like pulling my hair in frustration.
Damad ji hua kya exactly aap mujhe btaye mai baat krungi isse " My mother in law intervened.
"I think ki gunu is not herself anymore as I should do something, na vo kisi se baat krti hai, na hasti , na bahar jati hai, na roti hai,
she is not showing any emotions, usne apni job bhi chod di hai, she is loosing so kuch weight Mujhe iski bhot chinta ho rahi hai ab " I let put my frustration in front of everyone, I stared at my wife who is sitting in front of me and looking like a lifeless statue as if she is not here or
I am not talking about her she had not expression on her face just looking at me, I felt like crying and screaming I don't know what to do to make her right.
" Fir yehi nihal kitni baar samjha chuki hu tujhe mai kuch nahi hua gungun ko she is fine, kuch hua hai gungun tumhe? " My mother said to me in anger and looked at gungun who is sitting right next to her.
My wife shook her head in denial, I felt like my heart is constantly being smashed by a sharp thing, even if she deny I know there is something wrong very wrong.
" Kyu pagal ho rahe ho tum jb bahu khud kahe rahi hai kuch galt kuch galt kyu raag lasp rahe ho..... Sb theek hote bhi bigaad rahe ho tum ab cheeze tumhari hi wajah se vo phele ladd kr gyi thi tum hi zimmedaar the phele bhi ab bhi tum bina baat ke problem create kr rahe ho " Said my day in a firm and strict tone I know it is me only who fucked her up but still something is very wrong.
"But papa " I tried to my point but "bas nihal bhot ho gya chup kro tum bahu ko or family ko ese hi pareshaan kr rakha hai tumne, bache hai tumhare tum khud bacchon jese harkate matt kro bade ho jao " My father yelled at me I saw her flinching from the peripheral of my eyes her eyes show fear for first after she came back I actually saw something in her eyes again.