Trigger warning(s): implied abuse (?), mentions of neglect
First person POV
POV: Owen
Owen's age: Twenty
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I place a silver circle in to the thin, rectangular hole, watching the little doll come to life once more.
"I looooove you!" The squeaky, high pitched voice box in the toy came on, a sweet, childish tune coming on in the background.
It was a unique piggy bank that I found. Well, not piggy bank, since it wasn't a pig. But who cares? Not me, because I didn't buy it for appearance or to keep money. Every time I insert a coin or cash in to the cute thing, it comes up with random words of affirmations and sweet phrases. It was everything I wanted, and everything I needed at the time.
Sometimes I put in money just to hear that someone cared for me. Other times, I did it just for the memories. Though one thing stayed the same, no matter what the reason was that I put another silver coin or green piece of paper in to the doll: it hurt.
Hearing the sweet things I wish I heard throughout my childhood stung. It stung that I felt more loved by an automated doll than my own mother. It stung that I bought a toy to keep me company and keep me happy during my childhood because my mother couldn't do it. It stung that something that wasn't even alive or conscious was more human to me than my own mother was.
And it still stings.
However numb I may be to the things around me, the faint, familiar prick that comes with placing a form of currency in to the small thing of comfort is undeniable and inadmissible. And now that I think of it, I think that's the reason why I still do this.
When I first bought it, I used it to hear the sweet words I wish I heard through my childhood. Now I just use it to feel something. But...
The feeling's fading.
I don't want it to fade yet. I still need to feel something, I can't have it go away yet. I still need to feel alive, to feel human. But...
Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe these coins don't have to mean as much to me as I let them.
...
Maybe letting go will be a step in the right direction.
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Words: 383
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Owen oneshots
RandomOne shots specifically reserved for Owen. Some one shots will be wholesome or platonic. Some might be romantic. Most will be graphic and somewhat disturbing, as these 'oneshots' are more centered on Owen's mind and the thoughts/things that he had an...
