Original works

[2]

{written in 2023]

In the world we can feel like something is the main reason for our existence, and I believe you are my reason. I only loved you, how perfect and beautiful your love felt to me. It was like traces of roses and fresh rain in my dry and colorless world. You added meaning to life and removed my pain and doubts, it was everything I wanted and more. It could have made me feel whole and wanted, but when you told me it was over, I haven't let it go, yet you let go in the first week. I wanted to believe it was a mistake, a sick joke even, but it was true, and it hurt like a deep wound to my scarred heart.

Fresh blood from the healed scars now running, mixing in my agony and tears. Not that I mind it, it makes you happy. I say anything for your joy and happiness in life, even my pain is nothing compared to knowing you're sad. I would rather tear myself limb from limb than to know you let the lump form before your sorrow fell. I only want to see you happy and smiling, even if it means I rot from the inside and tear away at my own corpse of flowers, laying the void that used to be a living human.

The stars wrote forever in your eyes yet shunned me when I believed it, I suppose it was deserved. Maybe I did something so bad in a past life that I didn't deserve someone like you, perfect and whole, something more angelic than my filthy existence should ever long for. It mocked me by giving me you for even a moment, and that moment I had with you was pure bliss, and it felt like forever, maybe my forever was only in the moment and your forever was a smaller sect of time. Though I wanted it to be eternal, I never said for eternity. I didn't say how long forever was, that was my fault. I failed to say what I needed to and lost what I wanted most in the world.

It's funny how we expect what we don't ask for, yet complain and weep over the things we receive.