SPEAK

Chapter 20: The Fall

It was May, and I stood there staring directly at the sun like an idiot, feeling every last drop of life in me had been sucked out by the heat. Why do people even like the sun? My face was already burning, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Across the street was Liora's house, and I didn't even know what I was doing here. My brain felt like it had shut down. Maybe it melted under the Nevada sun. That was possible, right?

The weather was nice, I guess, if you liked that whole "scorching but still pretending it's not summer yet" vibe. There was a faint breeze, but it wasn't strong enough to cool me down-it was more like nature's way of teasing me. Ha, enjoy this hot air, loser.

Liora stepped out of her house, and for a split second, I thought maybe, just maybe, she'd look up and see me standing there like a lost puppy. But no. Instead, she was walking with some girl around our age. I adjusted my glasses and squinted. Who's that? I didn't recognize her, and that was weird because in Cold Springs, everyone knew everyone. There was no such thing as a new face here unless they'd been living under a rock-or I'd been living under one. Which, honestly, is possible.

I pulled my phone out before my brain could stop me. Come on, Asha, just say something. My fingers hesitated over the screen. I hadn't talked to Liora in weeks. Weeks. That's, like, 500 years in friendship time, and I was pretty sure Hale wasn't going to talk to me ever again after everything. I had wrecked that, too.

Just type. Just say "hi" or something. It's not that hard.

"Hi."

That was it. I pressed send, my heart hammering in my chest like it was trying to break free. Please, Liora. Just respond. Just-

She glanced at her phone, her eyebrows lifting for a second. Then, I saw her start to type. My breath caught in my throat. She was going to respond. This was it. She's gonna-

My phone buzzed in my hand.

"I'm at work, very busy."

I stared at the words like they were a punch to the gut. But the real blow came when I saw her laugh, slipping her phone back into her pocket as she giggled with that other girl. The girl I didn't even know. Who the hell was she? Why did she get the smile, the laugh, and I got... this?

I took a step back. My stomach twisted into knots. I ruined it. Again. I was good at running. Running from people, running from problems, running from everything. So, that's exactly what I did. My feet moved before my brain caught up, and I was sprinting down the street like a total mess.

I ruined my friendship with Liora, just like I ruined things with Xavier. I am the problem. I'm always the problem.

The sun was still blazing above me, mocking my entire existence. The warm May air wrapped around me, heavy and thick. My lungs burned, my eyes stung, and I didn't even know where I was running to anymore.

I just knew I couldn't stay.

***
The next day, things were going... surprisingly well. I was actually feeling better. I mean, not good or anything, but better than the day before, which felt like a miracle. I even cracked a few smiles as I walked down the hall. I didn't even know what I was smiling at-probably the absurdity of it all. But hey, small victories, right?

Then, it happened.

One second I was walking, minding my own business, and the next, I was eating floor. My books scattered everywhere like a sad confetti parade. I blinked, my face pressed to the cold tile. What just- I looked to the side and saw her. Arlen's girlfriend, still didn't remember her name. She had that smug, makeup-caked face like she just won some evil cheerleader competition.