Days passed. Nothing changed, I found myself constantly thinking about Kai and yearning for his attention. I let a heavy air out of my body, scroll through my phone and stared at its screen, hoping na baka may message na hinihintay ko.
Hopeless.
This made me remember about something I experienced before.
Out of nowhere, I receive a random message from a guy. Nagpakilala na isa siya sa mga nakasama namin sa fun run and directly sinabi sa aking gusto ako.
As I check his profile, I kinda remember him, his visuals is eye pleasing...that's what I thought at that time. He's frank and fun to talk to, I even ignored all the other messages including messages from Kier telling them I was busy. And after days of talking, he kept bringing up stuff about himself. I pitied him at some part of his story, while also felt amazed by the achievements he's sharing.
Personally, he have it all--looks, wit, quick-thinker, and an ideal boyfriend...except for one thing. He lacks patience. I found myself cornered by his single at paulit-ulit na tanong. The one with only two answers for me to choose from. He doesn't want any answer from me except for yes and no.
I felt uneasy 'cause he talk about getting into a relationship too soon, but I'm only in the process of getting to know more about him. I got a bit of interest in him, which is new to me due to my most hated fact that I am only interested when guys lost their interest in me. At kapag may gusto na silang iba.
We could have been together but....I was turned off and sad thinking that his love kind of felt like something far from genuine love but obsession. Everyone must know fully well the weight of the questions they're posing onto someone.
He failed in this part.
'Di ko nafeel na naiintindihan niyang deserve and need ko din magkaroon ng sapat na time para mapag-isipan if he's really the right fit for me and that goes the same for him as well.
After being hesitant, we talk less day by day. It was obvious by his replies where our conversation is leading us. Gusto ko na lang maging friends kami, nothing more. Then, we never talk to each other ever again. Similar to my situation right now.
The only difference is...
Instead na regrets maramdaman ko na 'di kami nag work, mas kampante, thankful, and masaya ako na napunta pa siya sa mas deserve niyang kasama. I admire her current girlfriend's looks na laging naka post sa account nya, they honestly look good together.
Pero..pag dating kay Kier.
Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. Nababagabag ako. Something within me tells me na may malaking mawawala sa akin at this is something na pagsisisihan ko habang buhay.
Biggest what if.
Still, I was suddenly reminded with something, the one thing the most crush thing to do. It's giving your crush attention and make them used to have your attentions, then depriving them of it. Consequently, making them desiring for your attention and yearning for you back.
I can't help but think, this might be the situation right now. It's not that Kier doesn't like me anymore, it might be just one of those tactics.
Napabuntong hininga ako at medyo nag ease na din ang pakiramdam.
Kai's POV
There are things students are obsessed with.
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Chasing my Shadow
General FictionThey say..."The best crushes are the ones you have no chance with." Kierian Drayven Tran navigates the tangled web of unrequited love for years. Kier is so invested in Alyxia, despite her showing no signs of interest in him. He has become a mere sha...
