Habak ni Doctor Quack

Chapter 5

It was a quiet afternoon at Doctor Quack's clinic, one of those rare lulls where Pipoy had time to dust the shelves and organize the clutter of strange remedies scattered across the counter. Doctor Quack had stepped out to check on a patient in the next barangay, leaving Pipoy in charge. He liked the sense of responsibility, but deep down, he knew things rarely stayed peaceful for long in their little clinic.

As Pipoy wiped down a stack of jars labeled with barely legible handwriting, his gaze drifted over to Doctor Quack's bookshelf. It was a chaotic mess of old, weathered books, each one filled with recipes for bizarre remedies, ancient medical practices, and strange cures that most people would have dismissed as superstition. Pipoy had never been allowed to touch those books on his own—Doctor Quack always said they required expert hands—but today, with the doctor gone, temptation was getting the better of him.

"Maybe just a quick peek," Pipoy muttered to himself, edging closer to the bookshelf. "Can't hurt to learn something new, right?"

He carefully pulled one of the larger, dustier tomes off the shelf and opened it, his eyes scanning the faded ink. The page he landed on was filled with an odd mix of ingredients: tears of a frog, hair from the armpits of a scared barber, nails from a running turtle, and loose skin from a kabir (a large chicken, known for its toughness). Next to these was a cryptic note about the remedy being used to "increase virility."

Pipoy's eyebrows shot up. "Huh... This must be one of those, uh... special cures Dok is always talking about." He smirked to himself. "Maybe I can give it a try. I mean, I've seen Dok mix these kinds of things together a thousand times. What could go wrong?"

No sooner had he said this than the clinic door creaked open. Pipoy's head jerked up, and in walked Mang Edong, one of their regular patients, his face flushed red and a nervous look in his eyes.

"Pipoy!" Mang Edong called out, wiping the sweat from his brow. "Where's Doctor Quack? I need something... uh... something for, you know... the bedroom."

Pipoy's ears perked up. He glanced down at the open book in his hands. The page about virility practically jumped out at him, as if it was meant to be.

"Well, Mang Edong," Pipoy began slowly, closing the book with a thud, "Dok isn't here right now, but... I might be able to help you."

Mang Edong looked uncertain. "You sure, Pipoy? I've got a problem, you know? A problem I can't... talk about in public."

Pipoy nodded confidently, despite the nervous flutter in his stomach. "Oh, I've got just the thing for you. A remedy so powerful, you'll be... well, let's just say your wife won't be able to keep up!" He winked, hoping his bravado would mask the fact that he was entirely unqualified to handle the situation.

Mang Edong perked up at the promise, his face lighting with a hopeful grin. "Really? You can do that?"

"Of course!" Pipoy said, rolling up his sleeves. "Just give me a moment to gather the ingredients."

He rushed to the back of the clinic, trying to remember where Doctor Quack kept the jars. His heart pounded in his chest as he muttered to himself. "Alright, let's see... Tears of a frog. Should be easy enough. Oh! Here's a jar labeled Frog Tears."

Pipoy grabbed the jar and tossed it on the counter. "Next up... hair from a scared barber. Well, we've got hair here... and who's to say whether or not it came from a barber who was scared?" He grabbed a jar of hair shavings and added them to the pile.

"And nails from a running turtle... found it!" Pipoy clutched a small jar with dried-up nails that looked like they could have come from anything, though he wasn't entirely sure if they were from a turtle. "Close enough," he muttered.