Chapter 9

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I am sorry for the delay. I am trying my best to be consistent but my exams did not let me. I will try...
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Please point out my mistakes because I have not edited the chapter.

How would I pursue him to not marry me? Everything was being planned and I was wondering how to stop it

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How would I pursue him to not marry me? Everything was being planned and I was wondering how to stop it. A damaged person like me did not deserve someone like Aadit.

"What are you thinking?" Mom asked me but I shook my head. She sat beside me and took my hand in hers and said ,"You know I got a call from Aadit's mother and they are asking for deciding dates for the wedding." I bit my lips and said,"Can we wait?"

"But why? We are planning to get you both married after Ruhi's delivery. There is no harm in doing engagement." Ruhi had understood that I was avoiding engagement and marriage because of her and that's why she started insisting on doing engagement if not the wedding.

"Is something bothering you?" Mom asked me, snapping me out of my thought land. Making me shake my head. "Then what is the problem? You and Aadit like each other and Aadit is a really nice boy. He is good for you."

We can break the engagement? Right? What if I.....but won't I break Aadit's heart?

"Fine. Okay, I am ready." I told mom and she smiled wholeheartedly. After sometime she left and started reading a book. I started understanding English. I was trying to improve myself.

"So, how do you feel now?" Dr. Qirat asked me and I looked down. My daily therapy sessions have been reduced to monthly sessions. I was working on myself. "I feel a little off."

"But why?" She closed her laptop and sat beside me on the couch and I looked in her eyes trying to figure out whether I should trust her or not. She promised that she won't even breathe out a word of our conversation to anyone.

"You can trust me." She assured me as she tightly held my hands in hers.

"I am infertile." Those words hit me again in my heart. They reminded me that I won't be able to become a mother and..just because of me Aadit won't be able to become a father.

"I cannot conceive. Drugs ruined my reproductive system. I never thought that this would happen. You know I love kids a lot and when I saw little Vaayu for the first time, I wanted to have a little baby of my own but see how cruel my destiny is." Dr. Qirat was listening to me patiently.

"See...Won't I do wrong with Aadit if I marry him? Won't I destroy his bloodline? He will not be able to become a father just because of me. Won't I commit a sin. Am I not a, damaged good?" I asked her with tears flowing out of my eyes.

"You are a human being Juhi not a good. Remember it. Don't compare yourself like this. You are not at all damaged. Don't forget that you are not the first lady in this world who is infertile. There are many and it does not mean that you don't have the right to live and enjoy. There are also a lot of men who are infertile. And if a boy leaves you on the basis of you being infertile then you should be the one who should leave him first." She made me understand but all of her words fell in my deaf years. 

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