Big Book of Hatsome One Shots

Incy Wincy Spider (S)

TW: Arachnophobia

"Oh my-- god GUYS!" Smith screamed, his cry echoing around the bathroom. It was followed swiftly by a series of painful sounding thuds and bangs, the sound of the shower valve being swiftly cut off. From the other side of the door, Trott listened tensely as another set of loud crashing noises resonated from their bathroom, accompanied by an exasperated groan from Smith.

He took a few steps towards the sounds until he was standing on the opposite side of the door, light pouring from the gap beneath the panel of wood. Gently, so as not to scare his friend further, he tapped his knuckles against the door frame. He felt the floor vibrate slightly, indicating that he'd made Smith jump.

"Is everything alright, mate?" He called out, loud enough for Smith to hear through the wall. There was silence for a moment. Trott was about to open the door when he heard Smith's hasty and muffled reply, "Everything's good...d-don't worry! Uh... give me a sec, alright?"

Trott opened his mouth to speak again but shut it quickly. Instead, he backed away from the door and leant against the wall beside it, sighing deeply as he did so. He tapped his foot impatiently against the floor, taking this opportunity to focus his attention on listening to the racket Smith was making in the shower. Whacks and slams, the sound of a towel being whipped against the glass of the cubicle, a girly shriek and then a sigh of defeat. Everything fell silent for a moment, then the sound of the door unlocking. Trott turned slowly, his arm closest to the door becoming wet with condensation as water vapour spilled from the room. Smith stood sheepishly in the opening, a towel around his waist and a look of defeat spread across his face.

"Um... Trott mate... couldn't help me with a little spider issue, could you?" Smith mumbled, trying to look manly and confident while feeling as meek as a mouse. Trott noted how deflated he looked and decided it would be better not to make a comment. He chose simply to smile, a warm grin, all lips.

"Of course! Where is it?" He asked, checking his tone wasn't condescending in any way.

"Uh... on the inside of the shower. The glass panel..." Smith muttered, a hand reaching up and rubbing his neck. He was embarrassed, clearly. Smith wasn't scared of many things, but of the few things that made him shake like a leaf, spiders were on the top of the list. Smith emerged fully from the bathroom, goosebumps appearing on his arms as his hot skin collided with the icy air of the house. Trott entered the bathroom, the steam fogging up his glasses. He slipped them off, feeling slightly blind as he moved his eyeline to the glass door...

.-*-.-*-.

"So, you two have just been sat here?" Ross asked, his voice tinged with impatience and annoyance as he scanned over the pair. They were both sat on Ross' bed: Smith fully clothed now, though his hair was still damp and Trott nestling his face in the crook of Smith's neck, as the larger man held him close.

"Yep." Smith replied.

"You've just been sitting here, waiting for me to get home? You texted me, what, an hour ago?"

"...Yep." The pair replied consecutively, Trott's agreement smothered in Alex's skin.
Ross rolled his eyes and muttered obscenities under his breath as he walked towards the bathroom, though he was more frustrated than angry. Smith and Trott remained firmly where they were, not wanting to have to venture into that bathroom again if it meant coming into contact with that horrifying beast of a spider.

"You could have put more emphasis into, you know?" Ross yelled from the bathroom, scanning the walls furiously for the bugger, "Maybe, I don't know... 'There's a spider in the bathroom that's so big and scary me and Trott are cowering on the bed like teenage schoolgirls'?"

"Fuck you!" Trott shouted back, his cry muffled by Smith's shoulder. Ross' eyes finally came to rest on the spider, who had managed to manoeuvre it's huge body mass over to the other side of the room. It was traversing the mirror, it's large legs leaving tiny indents in the condensation like footprints in the snow. Ross grimaced; they hadn't been joking. It was quite a large spider, at least half the size of his hand, legs included. It's body was thick and bulky, and its spindly legs hardly seemed able to carry its weight around.

"Boy... that is one big spider. Guess I'll keep it and throw it in bed with Trott one night, eh?" Ross taunted.

"Shut up and just get rid of it, please?" Trott grumbled, lifting his head out of Smith neck for a few seconds before burrowing back in. Smith chuckled, rubbing Trott's back reassuringly.

"I'm on it, don't worry..." Ross said with a chuckle, as he rushed downstairs to find something to deal with the bugger.

*-.-*-.-*

"Thank youuuuu." Trott whispered, as Ross entered the kitchen, having emerged from the bathroom for the final time, dusting off his hands in a comical way. The pair had moved tactfully downstairs while Ross had been dealing with the mammoth on the mirror, allowing them to make several cups of tea which they had been drinking anxiously and impatiently.

"Don't worry about it. It's out the window, gone, forever, hopefully." Ross grinned, looking at Smiffy. His cheeks lit up, apparently only now starting to feel embarrassed in front of Ross. Thinking about it, he may have been using Trott as an excuse, though Ross knew it was really Smith who was the worst with spiders. He just happened to be slightly better at controlling his fears.

"I, uh... thanks mate." Smith murmured. Ross raised an eyebrow as Smith walked over to him, pulling him into a tight hug, "You're the bigger man. Well, not literally. Because I clearly win in that catergory but uhm... yeah. Sorry. Not good with the whole..." Ross kissed him, a brief mix of lips in order to stop Smith babbling. When he pulled away, the redhead looked stunned into silence; luckily, exactly the effect Ross had been hoping for.

Suddenly, Trott was between them, muscling in on the affection by pressing himself between the two men and leaning his head on Smith chest. Ross pressed a kiss to the back of Trott's head, the three men standing like that for a few brief moments before Ross whispered lovingly into the silence:

"Wimps."

Credit to yogneet on Ao3