the shadows the phantoms left behind

chapter four

The forest is cool today.

Rain from last night drip, drip, drips down from the leaves and onto the damp soil, plants rustling and wind whistling past me. My mom always said the wind can talk to you, and you to it. The thought comforts me.

I'm not scared right now. The dawn leaks through the holes in the canopy, shining soft orange and yellow hues over my head. And although my dream from last night- that felt way too real to be a dream- still lingers in the back of my mind, I feel at home.

Now, my only question is: how the hell am I supposed to find a specific tree I've never seen before in the middle of the biggest forest I've ever beheld?

I inhale deeply, the fresh air filling my lungs and making me smile.

My steps are brisk as I make my way through the decaying brush of the forest floor. My plan is to get to the tree before nightfall, however unlikely.

I begin to hum without a care in the world, although the paper in the front pocket of my jeans tells me not to. I pick a flower and smell it, although the little voice in the back of my head that sounds an awful lot like my mom is warning me to stop. I bend down and press my cheek to the soil, whispering my full name into the damp earth, although now my own brain, clear as day, is screaming at me, begging me to end this nonsense now.

But I don't.

Almost every step I take, I break a rule.

Rule after rule after rule until there's nothing left to ruin.

Sometime in the middle of the day, I get hungry.

Food. Fuck.

I groan, throwing my head back.

That's what I forgot.

I root around in my bag, desperately trying to find some kind of sustenance, but nothing.

I glance up at the sky, shielding my eyes from the sun with my hand. It's probably sometime around noon. Six hours. That's how long I've been out here. Six hours, far away from home, lost in this forest that I could call a second home.

I sigh deeply, holding my neck as I tip my head back to look at the trees.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes incessantly in my bag.

I pull it out, expecting a spam call or something in that vein, but instead, my brother's name lights up my screen. I wince. I completely forgot about him.

I hesitate, but I end up picking up.

"Hey, Florian," I say cautiously.

"Andy! Where have you been?? I thought you were just sleeping a shit-ton like usual, but then I go to check on you and you're not there! Please tell me you're not off doing something incredibly stupid."

I laugh nervously. "Nope, I'm completely fine. Just...needed to get out of the house."

Silence. Then, "You're doing something incredibly stupid, aren't you?"

It's like he can read my mind.

"I'm fine, I swear! I'll be back in a little while."

He sighs from across the line. "Fine. I'm trusting you. If you're not back by nightfall, I'm gonna go bat-shit insane. I'm paranoid."

I laugh a little, even though I know I'm absolutely not going to be back home by the time the sun goes down. "Sure. Bye, Florian."

He hangs up without another word.