Mikha Lim.
When she finally stood in front of me, I felt my heart race. It was pounding erratically, the uncontrollable emotions taking over. It felt like it was only the two of us in the room, the light kissing her chocolate brown eyes that were solely focused on me, piercing a dagger through my heart intensely, as if her smile wasn't already enough.
They all suddenly played in my head.
The lightning from the sky sparked up the street, tearing through the darkness, followed by the loud rumble of thunder embracing the atmosphere. I felt myself sprinting with nothing but my soaked shirt from the rain, the cold droplets running down my back, yet I did not care about the uncomfortable wetness. My heart beat faster as I rushed to the school, syncing with the rhythm of my loud, wet footsteps. My white rubber shoes were covered in mud as I ran, and when I spotted her, I stopped.
There she was, sitting under the shed, her hands covering her face as I watched her sob quietly. Each sob felt like a stab to my chest, and it was instinct to just wrap my arms around her, make her feel safe, and let the pain go away.
I was about to approach her when someone held an umbrella above her head, their hands in their pockets. I couldn't clearly see their face as the roof of the shed cast a shadow over them, but when I saw her force a smile despite her red, puffy eyes, I knew it was my cue.
The rain kept pouring down on me as I watched the both of them, my heart aching from the sight. It was in that moment that I realized the brutal truth.
She doesn't need me.
"Mikha?" I heard someone call my name, but I couldn't seem to pull my eyes away from them as I watched them walk away. I watched them shelter each other under the umbrella, and it felt like with every second, it was getting harder to breathe. The water running down my face was cold, yet the numbness made me immune to it. I couldn't move or speak, as I just let the sight make me fade.
"Mikhael." This time, the voice was stern, cutting through me like a knife. When I turned my head, it was Colet, her face etched with anger and concern.
"Tanga ka ba?" she scolded, harshly getting out of her car and opening an umbrella. She made her way to me and covered me with a spare jacket she had in the car. "Ano ginagawa mo rito? Nagpapaulan ka pa. Gusto mo bang magkasakit ka? Please lang, Mikha."
"Aiah." The only word I uttered, my tone flat.
"Aiah?"
"Her father died," I answered, turning my head to her. I felt tears slowly starting to form in my eyes despite my restraint from crying. Colet looked at me with concern, sadness visible in her eyes. She frowned, holding my shoulder.
"Halika na muna sa loob ng sasakyan."
"Hello, Mikha." She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. Just my name coming out of her mouth was enough to make my world stop spinning.
"Para saan ba kasi 'yan?" Gwen asked as she watched me from the living room, cooking something in the kitchen. She's currently sitting on the sofa, holding a controller, playing Assassin's Creed. It was my idea to invite her to taste my cooking because I was planning on surprising Aiah with a lunchbox. I smiled as the thought replayed in my head, feeling the energy.
"Basta nga," I replied loud enough for Gwen to hear. "Malalaman mo."
"Oh sige, basta 'wag kalokohan ah."
When I finished cooking, I plated the dish carefully for an attractive visual appearance. My tongue stuck out as I carefully placed the green basil leaf on the pasta. The color was complementary to the creamy pasta, and satisfaction was visible on my face. When I was done, I felt relieved and wiped my sweat with the towel resting on my shoulder.
"Here." I placed the plate of pasta in front of Gwen on the small table. She then put down the controller and grabbed it, letting the smell enter her nostrils.
"Bango!" she said, smiling as she looked at the plate with hunger visible in her eyes.
"Taste is the true teller," she suddenly said, smirking. I just shrugged, my lips pursing.
"Okay, I'll have a taste na." Gwen spun the fork, and the pasta wrapped around it. She then put it in her mouth and chewed gently, letting the flavors fall through her mouth.
"Woah," she smiled and nodded at me. "This is so good! Hanep na Fettuccine Alfredo 'yan, nakalimutan ko na yata pangalan ko. Pa'no ba naman, parang 'di mo first time nagluto, brad!"
I just scratched my head and smiled, feeling my heart do a little victory dance. I grabbed myself a plate too and had a taste, the flavors quickly giving in to my tongue.
When we finished, Gwen wiped her lips with a tissue and drank water.
"So, para saan nga 'to?" she asked, placing the glass of water beside the now empty plate. I gulped the last bite, wiping my lips with a tissue as well.
"Sinubukan ko lang."
"Kung ano mang rason mo para subukan 'yan, panigurado akong sobrang halaga n'yan kasi biruin mo, nagawa no'n na ipagluto ka?!" I only shook my head at her, a chuckle escaping from my lips.
"So, sino ang dahilan para subukan mo?"
"So OA. What part did you not understand from what I said?" I then grabbed my glass of water and drank. Gwen looked at me, a skeptical look on her face. She squinted her eyes and smirked.
"Si Aiah?" The water splurted out from my mouth, feeling a lump catch in my throat. Gwen then looked at me in concern, quickly tapping my back lightly to comfort me.
"What?"
"Confirmed ko na, don't worry." She gave me a gentle smile.
"Hey, Aiah." I replied, my voice quieter than hers.
I checked the time again for the nth time. It was already 2 am. I let out a yawn as I stretched my arms. My eyes tried to adjust to the screen as I turned the brightness lower. I was typing on my keyboard again when I saw my phone light up. It was Colet calling.
"Hello?" I answered, drowsiness evident in my voice.
"Nagpupuyat ka na naman, Khael?" Colet asked, her tone sharp.
"You literally called me at 2 am."
"Kasi alam kong magpupuyat ka para sa thesis na 'yan," she replied, her tone serious. "Bakit ba ikaw gumagawa n'yan?"
"Eh kasi nga, busy si Aiah—"
"Busy siya?" I could sense the irritation in her voice. "Eh ikaw? Hindi ka ba busy?"
"Look, malapit ko na 'tong matapos."
"Malapit mo na 'yang matapos o ikaw ang malapit nang matapos?"
"I'll finish this in about an hour—"
"Utang na loob, Mikhael Lim," this time, she was angry. "Puro ka Aiah, Aiah. Pa'no ka naman? Pa'no 'yung sarili mo? Have you seen yourself? Ang laki na palagi ng eyebags mo because tambak kayo palagi with activities. May sarili ka ring thesis pa, Lim. Ni hindi ka na nga kumakain sa tamang oras dahil sa dami ng gawain mo. Hindi mo na nga rin nabibigyan sarili mo ng oras para sa mga bagay na gusto mong gawin, para sa passion mo. Isa pa, baka nakakalimutan mo, ang dami mong kailangang gawin na schoolworks, and you're doing that na hindi naman makakatulong sa pag-aaral mo? Alam ba ng parents mo 'yan? Kung gaano ka kabusy d'yan? Are you even taking care of yourself?"
"Colet," I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "I promise, I will be done with this na. After nito, I'll take care of myself. Mamaya ko na aasikasuhin iba kong schoolworks, matatapos ko rin naman agad 'yun eh."
"Are you hearing yourself, Mikha?" I closed my eyes. "Nangyari na 'to dati eh. Nagpakatanga ka na rin sa Denise na 'yun tapos ano, ang ending, ikaw pa niloko? Pinagpalit ka sa lalaki? Gosh, Lim. You never learn."
"Don't compare Aiah to her, Colet," this time, my tone was sharp. "She's different."
"Yeah, keep telling that to yourself." I removed the phone from my ear and placed it beside my laptop. I heaved a sigh, feeling my eyes slowly close as I drifted off to sleep.
