Life is not mine fem reader x Nico

Exactly

If you are still here I'm sorry I had fuck up the first chapter I had accidentally deleted a whole chapter sooo yeah if you are still here I am super happy.
Also a sorry since I did unpublished the whole thing I mad a mistake on accident sorry

Hey guys in this chapter you get sick and throw up after you're done you take the opportunity to cut yourself. Soo yeah just a little trigger warning.

How the fuck did he know.

"How do you know that?"
You asked as he held another fruit to your lips and you pushed it away.

"I have been watching you for a while now. I know almost all about you."
Nico said and he held your face. Trying to feed you an exotic fruit.

"I already told, I'm not hungry."
You say a little worried now if he knew everything he knew what your father had done, he knew what you did to yourself. He knows where you cut, he knows you don't eat. He knows you were sexually assaulted. He knows you have wings, he can't know that you were forced to eat your real family though.

"Y/n do you want me to take measures into on my own hands or not."
Nico said looking into your e/c eyes. You knew that meant he was going to kiss you again.
Oh well might as well play with your chances, you were going to throw it all up later when you had PRIVACY.
You pouted your lip and turned away. He sighed as he put the fruit in his mouth again and this time you pursued your lips. He kissed you and felt that your mouth wasn't open he licked your lip in a sexy way that just made your heart flutter, but you kept your mouth locked. He sighed.

"Y/n, I will not hesitate to take this further if that is what you're going to do."
He said as your cheeks turned beetroot red, heart fluttered in your chest and a strange sensation in your pants, it felt like a pulse, what the fuck, why do you feel like this and what does it mean? You shut your eyes as you felt him lick your ear, out of instinct you started whimpering and he took that as a sign to kiss you again this time getting the fruit in your mouth. His tongue lingered in your mouth for a bit before leaving, you opened your eyes and saw a string of saliva connecting your lips together. He wiped your bottom lip disconnect it from your lips and you started chewing, he watched smugly as you accepted defeat. You looked at him as you chewed, you felt so sick it was unbearable. Nico must have felt it so he sat down next to you and covered your mouth and massage your throat. Helping you swallow.

"There you go all over, you still have some fruit you need to eat love."
He said as he looked down in the mini plastic bowl. Shit. You honestly couldn't take it anymore, the feeling of food being in your body made you feel unbearably sick. You got up ruining for a bathroom, you found a bathroom and locked the door behind you.
Skidding on the tiles to get to the toilet, you gagged once, then twice, you prepared yourself for the next, whenever you were sick you always gagged two times before you threw up.
You gagged a third time and a wave of stomach acid as well as two fruits came out from your mouth, it burned so bad, you felt tears threatening your eyes. You vomited even more, as bile built up in the back of your throat. You coughed it up as well and wiped your mouth with toilet paper.

"Y/N! Are you okay?"
You heard Nico from the other side of the door.

"Go away please just for a minute I need some time to myself."
You say in the nicest voice you could.You heard him back away from the door and you stated to sob. Why, you couldn't take this anymore, you just threw up and you can't skip meals anymore.
It gave you goosebumps to think about this but you were scared, you didn't know what to do either which was even more scary. You looked through Nicos draws to see if he had any blades that he would use for shaving his face or something.
You found a mini box with magnesium on it, you had a whole pack of these at home you use them to cut yourself sometimes.
You reached for it and grabbed out a small blade, covered in the wrapping that they use to stop people from cutting themselves when reaching into the box. You unwrapped it and cut your inner thigh honestly you never got scared, so this filled you with relief when you felt a sharp stabbing pain once when you did this. You had the most painful day of your life, went home to just relieve yourself and you didn't feel anything when you cut.
So you went deeper, nothing, deeper, nothing, you went so deep that you couldn't see the blade anymore and it was a box cutting knife. And you couldn't make it any longer, you had pushed so hard into your thigh that your skin felt so tight for the next couple of days.
You calmed down after a bit and put the blade back in its wrapping putting it in your bra so you could keep. You turned and to your absolute horror Nico was standing in the doorway with a horrific expression on his face shit did he see that, like all of that.
Oh gods y/n how did you not notice the door get unlocked. Nico gained his composure and looked upset. Shit what have you done, well you always screw up something and by something you mean everything.
Nico picked you up bridal style, being extremely careful of your leg. He carried you over to the couch and laid you down, he left and went to the kitchen coming back with  first aid kit.

"Y/n why did you do this to yourself?..."
he asked distraught in his voice.

"I, I, I can't stop."
You said voice shaking, at this point your whole body was shaking. Tears welled at the brink of your eyes. You heard Nico sigh.

"Give it here."
He said voice even and normal. You tried playing dumb.

"Give what here?"
You asked.

"The blade I know you have it, I know you won't just abandon it after you were finished." Nico said as he examined your leg carefully and closely, if someone walked in they probably would have thought he was giving you head. For some reason his head being so close to your pants made you feel like you like your stomach was about to burst but not in a sick way, oh gods, what the fuck is happening.

"Y/n."
Nico said voice a little louder as to not startle you. Snapping you out of your trance.

"Give it here please."
He said as he reached his hand up for you to place it in. You just looked at it and he sighed.

"Y/n I don't want to give you a full body search to find it so please give it here."
He said, you knew he was serious so you gave it to him. He sighed and put it in his pocket.

Chat I hope you injoyed this chapter I did so I hope you did.
(I'm honestly so glad I didn't discontinue this story)❤️🥵